Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ramblings on IM Today, So I'm Sharing Some Memories

Aundrea Hill 9:36 AM
If I were doing it (getting married) again, this is what I'd do:  Have pictures (this could happen before or after the sealing, but I'm a sucker for pictures--you just ought to have them for an occasion like getting married); order announcements (because it's nice to let people know that you are getting or have gotten married); invite CLOSE family and friends ONLY to the temple, preferably the week after you got engaged; buy an extra nice church outfit and a new suit for the groom; be sealed; have lunch (or dinner, if applicable) somewhere simple with everyone who came to the temple and snap lots of photos there.  The end.
You'd need to get a marriage license somewhere in that week.
One week of stress that isn't THAT stressful.  A lovely time in the temple (which, in the end, is all I cared about anyway).  Spending time with the people you love.  Best. Day. Ever.
Less expensive.
AS9:37 AM
You would get married a week after you got engaged?
Aundrea Hill 9:37 AM
Yes, I would.  
If you know you want to be together forever, why put it off?
AS 9:38 AM
Yes.  I agree.
Aundrea Hill 9:38 AM
No kidding, this is how I wish I would have done it.
Being engaged is HARD.
Physically you know you're going to be together--it's just a matter of time.
My mom and I have fought only twice in my life.  Once was a couple of years ago when she got breast cancer.  The other time lasted three months, and it was during my engagement.
Not worth it.
Aundrea Hill 9:41 AM
Not worth the cookies and the cake (especially the cake!) and the mints and the ice cream and the soda and the decorating and the visitors and the flowers and the dresses  and the shoes and the tuxes and the jewelry.  Not worth the hair and the driving and the planning and the crying.  Not worth the color choices and the tablecloths and the music.  Not worth the photographer (which is an ugly story).  Seriously, it wasn't worth any of it.
And the best part of the whole day was kneeling across the altar from one another and hearing the words "for time and for all eternity."
I could have avoided conflicts with my future in-laws, the wrath of my grandmother, my mother's stress and tears, the stupid embarrassing parties.
I have strong feelings about this.  
It's just not worth it.
Go to the temple.  Start a life together.  Shop for the dishes you want once you've saved up for them--they'll be more meaningful to you!
The special gifts usually come from close family, and they will give them to you anyway.
Go to the dollar store and get your kitchen stuff--it's all going to wear out anyway!
The whole wedding thing is completely stupid and so overrated, especially for those of us who choose to begin our relationship by making covenants with God in His holy house.  What more do you need?
AS 9:47 AM
It's true.
I still think I will have a reception but it will most likely be low key.  I've had enough roommates that have offered to do everything.  One offered to do my flowers, one my pictures, one my hair.
I like how my friend Becky did it.
They had not quite 2 months of being engaged.  All the individual pictures were finished before they got sealed.
Love that.
I like that they had the reception at a reception center so she really didn't have to do any of the decorating.
The place was nice enough without having to decorate.
No decorating!!!
Just show up.  Had the catering and the AC worked it would have been perfect.
Aundrea Hill 9:51 AM
Not worth the risk.
Not worth the money.
Not worth the time.
Not worth the effort (for you or anyone else).
Just my opinion.
My mom jokes about their wedding now.
She was 18, he was 19.
A VERY full day and lots of exhausting hours later, they were together in a hotel room, and she was wondering what in the world she had done.
AS9:52 AM
Oh my!
Aundrea Hill 9:52 AM
Within a month she was pregnant, and Viet Nam was underway, and Dad enlisted so as not to be drafted.
I was born 10 months (almost to the day) after the wedding.
Dad was in basic training the day I was born.
He came back from basic with his orders:  Minot, North Dakota.
He left.  The Air Force got Mom and baby (me) a flight.  Grandpa and Grandma took us to the airport, and Mom just wanted them to beg her not to go.
She loaded herself and the baby and a diaper bag onto the plane.  I screamed through the flight.  She was too modest to nurse me in public.  Her dress was SOAKED with milk by the time we landed (she says the dress was literally dripping on her legs).
She says, "All I wanted was a pretty dress and a party!"
They were in love, and at 19 and 20 years of age and hundreds of miles from ANYONE, they just had to figure out how to make it work together.
It's hilarious to hear her tell the story.
The spent the night in a hotel, and they were supposed to get their apartment the next day.  Only they got there and the couple who was in the apartment was still asleep and hadn't even packed anything.  Mom was terrified and wondered what in the world she'd done.
AS 9:58 AM
Oh my goodness!
Aundrea Hill 9:58 AM
But Daddy pushed his way into the apartment and said, "You have to get out!"  He started just picking stuff up and throwing it into boxes and taking the boxes out to the front yard.  This couple was flustered and angry, but Dad was like, "This is our home!  We have nowhere else to go.  You have to get out."
AS9:59 AM
good for him!
Aundrea Hill 9:59 AM
They stayed and helped the other couple get all their stuff out (Mom says Dad did most of it because they were still trying to figure out how to get all their stuff to their new place.)
Then he stayed up late and cleaned the entire apartment, made beds for them, and collapsed.
The next day he had to work on base, but that's when Mom knew that it was going to be OK.  He was going to take care of her, and she was going to take care of him, and they were going to make it.
He got up early and went to work.  She got up early and unpacked their few belongings so that when he got home, he was "home."
And they were very happy there.
Isn't that a cute story?
AS 10:00 AM
I love it.
Aundrea Hill 10:01 AM
I die inside a little bit when I think about how young they were and how little they had.
My grandparents would put a $10 or $20 in the mail, and that was almost half of his pay!
AS10:02 AM
Aundrea Hill 10:02 AM
For Christmas the first year, my mom started saving lids from the shave cream and hairspray and anything else.  She saved toilet paper rolls.
She went to the commissary and bought hairpins and sequins and some felt.
And she made all these darling little ornaments out of everything--drums and stars and things.  YOu should see the ones with the hairpins--they are so cute!
Little mittens and boots out of felt and cotton balls.
Daddy siad there's never been a cuter tree in the whole world.
Aundrea Hill 10:06 AM
They still have MANY of those ornaments.  Mom used scrap rick rack and lace to decorate some things.  So dang cute!  My childhood was so poor financially, but we were so rich because my parents loved each other and they loved us.
My mom sewed a lot of my clothes back in the day when it was cheap to sew.
I was always thrilled with them.  She was really good.
Store bought bread was an absolute treat; now I LONG for my mom's bread.  She made it every Monday, and she'd do 32 loaves a day.
AS 10:08 AM
wow.  That is impressive.
Aundrea Hill 10:08 AM
When Dad worked at Hercules in Clearfield, he only got paid once a month.
She'd go get groceries, and we ALWAYS had tacos that first night, because that was Dad's favorite.  We ate a lot of cheesy noodles and casseroles.  And bread.  We had bread with everything.  It was our snack.
The boys got a job milking with one of the farmers in town.  They probably earned a dollar an hour or less.  But we could have all the milk we wanted.  That was the time when we always had milk.  We NEVER drank milk straight.  We always drank water.  Milk was for cereal and cooking.
We didn't know we were poor.
We'd have fun birthdays and Christmases.  We always got new school clothes.  It took my parents YEARS to pay off credit cards.  
But we were so happy.
WE'd sleep on the deck or in the living room together.
We'd pop popcorn and play games.
Mom would pack PBJ's and carrot sticks and we'd have a picnic in the park then play till it was bedtime.
My dad could throw a tennis ball or a baseball straight up in the air, and it was so high you couldn't even see it any more.  All the kids would gather in the street and see who could catch it when it came down.  Usually we were chasing it down the street.     The neighbor kids would come over to see if our dad could come out and play.
We never took vacations TO anywhere, but every summer we went camping at the family reunion (my grandparents probably provided all the food).
We spent TONS of time with my grandparents, especially on my mom's side.  We lived with them several times.
When they lived in Salt Lake, they had this big, unfinished basement.  There was a sink and a stove, so that became the kitchen.  At first our walls were sheets and blankets, but it wasn't long before Grandpa put up walls so we had bedrooms.  
He made a really pretty bathroom down there.  It had light blue carpet and white paneling.     It really was a pretty room.  
There was no shower, just a tub.
Less than a week after he finished that room, my brothers and I were in the tub with these toys, and no kidding, there was water dripping everywhere.  The carpet was soaked, the paneling was warped, the ceiling was dripping.  My mom was sick, and she cried and cried.  WE didn't know what we'd done wrong!  She got Grandpa and showed him the bathroom tearfully.  Then she made us apologize to Grandpa.  Knowing my grandpa, he was probably really mad. But he just gruffly accepted our apology, and by the next day he was working in that bathroom again.  
He and I talked about that last year before he died.  He said, "Well, I'll get you a bathroom ready and waiting when I get to the other side."  That touched my heart.
AS 10:18 AM
Aundrea Hill 10:18 AM
When we moved to California, they bought a little trailer that just stayed at the side of our house.  They'd come and spend a month or two at a time, but they had their own home to stay in.
Grandma was in our house all the time with my mom.
Grandpa would stay out in their house and watch movies.  Then we'd all have dinner together.
Mom and Grandma did lots of crafting together.
Grandma loved to go shopping, so off they'd go.  They invited me, but ugh, I hated it.
But my grandma was FEARLESS at the theme parks.  I LOVED hanging out with Mom and Grandma at Lagoon or Six Flags or Disneyland, because they'd do it all, over and over again!  
My talented grandma did all my wedding flowers.  (Not worth it, but they were GORGEOUS.)
My grandpa was a master mechanic.  We'd never have survived without him.  I think my parents fell in love with Spencer when he got my car running.     Now we didn't have to wait for Grandpa to come from Utah!  Ha!
AS 10:22 AM
It sounds glorious!
Aundrea Hill 10:22 AM
It was SUCH a happy childhood.
We were not allowed to own a car till after missions.  I was all ready to go to school, but we were trying to figure out how I was going to do that.  Grandpa told my parents he wanted to give me a car for graduation. They said no.  So instead he gave THEM a car so I would have one to use.

They financed that car when I got married so they could pay for the wedding.  But it was our car.  I took it with me.