When Tay was about 6 or 7 years old, he LOVED the movie "Jaws." One day he came upstairs and seriously said to me, "Mom, if you're ever in the ocean and you hear DUN-UH. DUN-UH get out of the water QUICK."
(Can you name that tune?)
I don't like mustaches. But I like the look of that mustache shadow at the end of the day.
I think beards are handsome, but they are not fun to kiss.
A freshly clean-shaven man is the best look, smell, and feel in the world.
This afternoon I was driving down the road, and the sky was perfectly blue with puffy clouds sailing overhead. I had a vision of myself as a 5-year-old little girl at Wymount Terrace, laying on the quad and watching the clouds float by. I wish I could have that carefree feeling again.
On Sunday, April 28, we went for a ride up the canyon after church. We came home pretty late. When it was time for bed, I took my phone to the charger, and I realized that I had missed a phone call. When I looked at the phone number, the caller ID said, "Indiana." I listened to the message, and it was from Bri's mission president. By that time it was 10:15 p.m. in Utah, which is after midnight in Indiana, so I could not return the call. Needless to say, I had a difficult time getting to sleep that night. And when the alarm went off on Monday morning, I jumped out of bed so I could call the mission.
The short version is that our daughter has been struggling with some mental and emotional challenges for some time. She's visited with professionals, and that weekend it had become clear that the best thing for her was to have her come home and get some help.
From the very moment of that conversation, my heart and Spencer's heart were calm and at peace.
On Thursday, May 2, our beautiful Sister Hill came home and was honorable released as a missionary for our church. Here are some pictures:
A few weeks ago I came unglued at work. I know, you're shocked. When it originally happened, my boss was traveling. My dear girlfriends came to my therapeutic aid and started helping me find some things to do to help with what was bothering me. A few days later my boss came back and I ranted to him. This time I'm pretty sure I pushed his last button. He left on another trip the next day and I didn't hear from him at all for two entire days. When I did hear from him, it was several emails sent to our entire division (addressing some of my concerns); and there no one-to-one contact for the duration of his trip.
Several things have come from this meltdown:
1. I have decided that I cannot stay at my employment for the long term. Yes, I have been frustrated before, but this one sent me home in absolute, complete, utter frustration ("frustration" is not a strong enough term). While I'm dealing with the vexation, it is also clear in my head that I have to get out of there. Therefore, when I graduate, I am going to take my MBA for a spin and see where it can take me. Maybe it will take me to another clerical desk, and that's OK--as long as it is not for the corporation for which I currently work. And maybe--just maybe--I'll find something that is a wonderful fit for me!
2. I am busy at work. Every. Day. This makes me wonder why it took 2.5 years and a come-apart to figure out how to make this happen.
3. My boss and I have a different relationship now. We are still good friends. I still love him very much (in appropriate ways). But I know that I have pushed him as far as he's ever going to go with me, and he knows that I have bent as far as I'm going to bend. Without going into details, this sounds like he's the bad guy. He's not. He's a very, very good guy, and the Corporation would be better if they could clone him. But he's done all he can do, and I accept that. It also sounds like we are no longer friends, which is far from the truth. We are both mature enough to continue a friendship even when there are weaknesses to be faced. I'm very grateful for that, and I hope we will be friends for a very, very long time.
Yesterday I had my California brother and his family on my mind, so I sent an email filled with love. This is what I got in return:
Our Sassy goes to bed very early because she has to get up very early and because she risks illness if she doesn't get enough sleep. She hasn't felt good for the past couple of days, so I fully expected her to be in her bed by the time I got home from work last night.
She was lying down when I first got home. Landon had his cousins in his bedroom. I fixed myself a sandwich for dinner and took it into our bedroom so I could get started on my (substantial and formidable) homework assignment. I kept our door open because I wanted to be available for Landon.
Before long, I heard Ashtyn up and in Landon's room with the others. It got VERY quiet after a short time, and I realized they were all gone. After about 45 minutes, there came trooping in a large parade of kids ages 11 to 18, one of them hauling in a new fish tank, others carrying various bags. They then spent the next two hours setting up a new tank in Landon's room. The only thing they ever said to me all night was, "Do you care if we give the smaller tank to the Fishes?"
Spencer got home and asked where Landon had gotten the money to do this, and he said, "I didn't do it. Ashtyn came in and said, 'Do you care if we re-decorate?' So she bought all of this. I didn't even ask her, Dad!" She walked in and said, "This was my idea, Dad."
I got lots of homework done. Our kids and the Fish kids played together all night. And I spent time thanking heaven for wonderful children who are friends and who love and sacrifice for one another.
I put away my homework when my eyes were crossing. That's when Ash asked if I could put her hair in braids for the night. She went to bed at 10:30 (VERY late for her).
I was singing with the Sterling Singers at Libby Gardner Hall. I had been assigned to sit in the center section, and I was seated by some young (20-something) ladies. One of them was pregnant and had to leave for the bathroom twice before the show started. She apologized, and I made some sarcastic remark about rude PREGNANT women who just can't be in control. Luckily she responded laughingly to my joke, and we talked about how this was her first baby and she was terrified. I said, "Look, I'm not going to lie to you. There are things about parenting that are hard. But oh my goodness, you are going to LOVE it." She got a look of near-panic on her face and said, "Do you think so?" I told her that there would be days that she would wait with bated breath for the clock to chime 8:00 (bedtime), and that there would be days that she wished she could make last forever. I told her that her children would occasionally make her cry, but that she should laugh at every opportunity. I told her that she was about to get to know someone really terrific. I told her that I was blessed to be the mom, but I was also blessed to know four marvelous people! She actually got tears in her eyes, and she said, "Can I hug you? Everyone keeps telling me these horrible stories. No one has told me that I was going to be doing something I would love." I hugged her and said, "You are going to LOVE it!"
Inspired by This blog, I want to share a couple of things about parenting that I love and that I've learned.
First of all, Spencer and I made the decision before our first child was born that we would not waste a single minute waiting for that elusive moment that is usually prefaced by, "I can't wait until...", as in "I can't wait until she can dress herself" or "I can't wait until he can play with friends" or whatever. I can honestly say that, while I sometimes ACHED to sleep through the night, I did not ever wish for something to come. Both Spencer and I were COMMITTED to enjoying every moment we possibly could with our children. Now that they are big and mostly grown and nearly gone, I am grateful every day that I made the commitment NOT to wish their lives away. I am not foolish or forgetful enough that I don't remember that some days were hard. But I'm so glad that I embraced those days, because they won't be back for me. That thought makes me a little melancholy.
But not for long, because I'm STILL enjoying every day. Having big, grown-up children is so much fun! Their talents, their words, their goodness--it is reason for celebration.
And that goes for teenagers. Seriously, if you aren't enjoying your teens, you are missing out on one of life's most enjoyable things. OK, so sometimes they do or say things that make you roll your eyes and think, "Really?" (I'll have to tell you about Landon's business venture in middle school sometime.) But they're still teachable. They are funny. They are talented. They are learning things so quickly (watch out for flying light bulbs above their heads)! Love it. Love it all.
Yesterday the granddaughter of some ward members bore her testimony in our sacrament meeting. I would guess she is around 14 or 15 years old. She was articulate. She had learned some VALUABLE lessons. She taught me truth. That is impressive. If you're not learning good things from your teens, you need to get to know them better.
Also, are they learning good things from you?
Lastly, you don't get to take credit for your children's choices. This includes the good and the bad. You can and should teach them. You can and should correct them. You can and should help them. You can and should pray for them. You can and should love and love and love them. But in the end, they get to choose. Therefore, if your child does something really terrible, you cannot take credit for it. You are not allowed to feel guilty for someone else's decisions. I won't let you. It's wrong.
On the other hand, you also cannot feel personal victory or claim credit for someone else's decisions, even your child's. When your child is terrific, SHE is terrific, not you. It's not about you. It is your child's victory, your child's good consequence. Let her have it. Let her practice small failures and small successes while she is small, and larger ones when she is larger. Before you know it, she will be the one making grown-up decisions every day.
You're going to love it.
I left my cell phone at work last night. I knew that it would be dead by the time I got back in the morning, so I immediately put the charger into my purse.
Landon wanted to drive today, so he brought me to work. Since I knew that meant that I would need to take the train home, I packed light to come to work. Lunch. Shoes and socks so I could walk home from the Trax station.
I packed too light. I forgot my purse.
No work badge. Security let me in and told me to come back later and get a temporary badge. That's a pain, so I'm stuck on my floor till I am out of here for the day.
No work badge, no train ticket. No way home.
No money or credit card. No way to buy a train ticket.
No phone charger. No phone. No way to contact Ashtyn to look for a ride home.
Poor "Information Please" Spencer. His wife has no brain.
This morning while getting ready for work, I started thinking about the "cool" things I've done. Here is a list of some of my coolness:
Ran a Ragnar relay (or three)
Ran a 5K (or 2 or...)
Scuba dived. In the Caymans. And Cozumel.
Had a baby without any medication at all.
Swam with dolphins.
Saw the Dodgers play.
Was the president of an organization (or two).
Earned a bachelor's degree.
Flew first class.
Sang with an exceptional choir.
Sold a story to a magazine.
Had the lead role in a play.
Visited our nation's Capital. Twice.
Visited the prophet in his office.
As I was thinking through my life for what could be classified as "cool," I thought, Huh! Those are all cool things by the world's standards, but they aren't even the most cool things I've done. So here's more.
