Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My Heavy Heart

My grandpa is 88 years old.  He is old, but he's only been old since he got sick when he was 80.  He never quite bounced back from that.

My grandpa has been a buddy for a good many years of my life.  Some of my earliest memories are with my grandpa and grandma.  It has been a special blessing and a pleasure and an honor to know and like my grandparents in my adulthood.

We lived with my grandparents a couple of different times in my childhood.  Grandpa built the basement into a wonderful home for us.  When I broke all of Grandma's plates, Grandpa laughed.  When he told me a little white lie and I believed it, he said, "Why would you believe that?"  When I replied, "I believe everything you've told me," Grandpa cried.

My grandpa took over teaching me to drive when my dad moved to California for his new job.  My grandpa taught me about generosity and work.  He taught me about making God your friend and talking to Him like a friend.  He taught me about caring sweetly for the one you should love the most.  He taught me important words like "pardner" and "my dear" and "Lard" (Lord) and "horseshit."  He's never been afraid to call a spade a spade.  He's never backed down from his duty, even if it was hard.  He loves and serves fiercely and loyally.

I could go on and on, and maybe someday I will.  Grandpa is not perfect, but he's awfully, awfully great.  For today, my heart is tender.  Grandpa has decided to stop taking all of his meds.  He has diabetes and heart disease and high blood pressure.  He's been having mini strokes.  Hospice made their first visit to my grandparents' house yesterday, and now it is just a matter of time.  It could be days.  It could be months.  It was inevitable to lose my grandparents anyway.  But for some reason today my eyes won't stop leaking and I'm having a hard time breathing.

I know about God's Plan, and I know it's true.  It gives me peace and comfort that there is meaning in this life and that death of the mortal body is not the end.  I KNOW that my grandpa will be mine forever and ever--what comfort this sweet sentence gives!


Karen said...

Reading your post today made me cry, too. It's been 15 years since my mom chose to stop her meds so she could peacefully move on to the next phase of her life. It was such a blessing for her and, ultimately, for the rest of our family. I know the Lord loves us all; may he comfort you and your family and give peace to all.

Kim and Preston said...

Oh Aundrea that was so tender. Thank you for posting about the amazing people that we are around on this earth. What a great testimony we have of eternal families. Please let me know if you need to talk please let me know.Love you!

gavn8r said...

Great job Dray. He's a good old guy and I'll miss him once he passes. When I think of Grandpa I think of all he's done for us as his grandkids (which is a LOT), and I also think about his part in saving the world. He truly embodies the spirit of "the greatest generation." He's one hell of a man.