From the Deseret News and My Commentary:

Q: What should I do about this situation?

My parents surprised us with the news that they’re leaving The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the church they raised us in. They love the gospel, but feel like the people in their ward mistreat them, and have always mistreated them, and I guess this is the only solution they can think of.

Now my older siblings are angry with them (my parents) and have decided that if they don’t go back to church, then they (my siblings) won’t go home for the holidays. My parents are very hurt, and this is just hardening their hearts even more. I want to go home and I want everyone else to be there too, my siblings, their kids, it’s not home without all of us — even if things are tense.

I’ve voiced this opinion to my siblings who have said that if I go home it’s like I’m condoning their actions, which makes me “just as bad as they are.” I’m not happy about my parents' decision, but regardless, I love them and really look forward to my school breaks so that I can see them. 

A: (From Angela, at Deseret News)

Man, your siblings are being really harsh. I could write a bunch of flowery stuff about how I’m sure they’re hurting and this must be a difficult adjustment period for your family but “Just as bad as they are?” Really? Ouch.

Don’t listen to them.

Go home and love and enjoy your parents. Support them, make breakfast with them, watch TV with them, teach them about Twitter and complain about the government shutdown with them. Take moments to try to uplift them where they are weak but show them that your love for them “never faileth.”

I just read your question again and “condoning” is really an interesting word choice on the part of your siblings. In a way, you are condoning your parents’ behavior. You’re allowing them to live and struggle (as is often the case in life) without condemning them for it.

The best thing you can do is remain a positive, influential and wonderful part of their lives.

Don't be angry with your siblings, either. Pray for the power not to take offense. Hopefully your siblings will follow your example.

***

To me, the WHOLE POINT of earthly existence is to learn to love (not just the feeling, but the action).  I realize that we needed a body and there are tests.  But God could have created billions of tiny little worlds and said, “Right now it’s Aundrea’s turn.  After her, it will be Briana’s turn,” and we would all have had bodies and ready-made tests.  But no.  He put us into families first and into a world FILLED with people.  Why?  So we could figure out how to get along with people, and ultimately, get along with Love.  That is the Savior’s great example.

I recently had a conversation with Landon about this very thing.  He is concerned about his choices because of what I will think of him or how I will treat him.  I’m glad of that.  If “My mom would be disappointed” keeps him from making poor choices, I’m glad.  But I reassured him that NOTHING he ever does will make me stop loving him.  Ever.  I might be hurt, angry, or disappointed; but I will NEVER stop loving him. 

Therefore (and I didn’t voice this part), if going to church (or not going) becomes a fight, it is a battle he will win.  I never want the Church or anything else to come between the love Landon and I have for each other.  So far he pouts a bit, but he doesn’t fight us about going to church.  If he starts fighting, I will cave.  It’s just not worth it.  The fight would make it a war I am unwilling to engage in.

The two most important things in my life (which aren’t things, of course) are my family and the gospel of Jesus Christ, which includes my membership in the Church.  I want those two things to be interrelated; but if they are not, it will not stop either of them from being important to ME.

I love you!

Aundrea

Sharing a Memory -- Day of Celebration

It was actually the title of this post that brings me to today's memory.

In 2005 our Church celebrated the 200th birthday anniversary of the Prophet of the latter-day dispensation, Joseph Smith.  As part of the celebration, youth groups all over the world were involved with activities to celebrate Brother Joseph's birthday.

In the Salt Lake City area, the Church produced a marvelous event called a "Day of Celebration."  All of the youth of the area were invited to gather at Rice-Eccles stadium at the University of Utah, where there were all kinds of activities planned.  The youth had been invited to participate in rehearsals, etc., if they wanted to be performers at this event.

One of the activities was a choir, and Taylor (who was 12) and Briana (who was 14) opted to participate in that.  The choir--which was originally planned for 3,000 youth--was 15,000 strong.  Imagine 15,000 young people belting out "Praise To The Man," and you can understand why I was thrilled when I was asked to also be in the choir as a driver of 5 young women and one young man (our Taylor).  For many weeks before the DOC, we held rehearsals in The Conference Center.  The rehearsals were fun because the choir director was funny and bold and talented and because of 15,000 young people belting out "Praise To The Man" (and other songs).  They were also spiritual feedings.  We were taught by members of the Seventy and Mack Wilberg (the director of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) and others.

One evening we were practicing "Joseph Smith's First Prayer."  The choir director was encouraging the young people to consider the words of the song.  He said, "Our Father in Heaven appeared to a 14-year-old boy, and he called him by name.  It's incredible, and it's all true.  And THAT is why young men leave their homes and families for two years to go out into strange places throughout the world to wear suits all day and talk to strangers.  THAT is why we choose to look peculiar to the world because we don't drink or smoke or use profanity.  THAT is why we wear modest clothing.  THAT is why."  He then shared his testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, which came through the Prophet Joseph Smith.  It was a sweet, spiritual, beautiful, tender moment in time.

We had been seated by vocal parts, so I was sitting by the girls who I drove.  I had told Taylor that I would meet him after the rehearsal by a particular pillar.  To get to that pillar, I had to "swim upstream" against a lot of people walking the other direction.  When I arrived there, Taylor was standing against the pillar.  He looked at me, smiled as I approached, and said, "Ah, Mom!  Did you FEEL that?"

The DOC was fabulous, and I'm so grateful that I got to participate.  But my very best memory of all of it was that 2 seconds when I saw our son really "get it."