Spencer Lovin'

Spencer and I love to be together, and we often catch movies or go for rides together.  But it's been a while since we planned a date, so I looked into weekend happenings, chose the two I was most interested in, and asked him which he'd like to do to celebrate Valentine's Day together.  He chose the BYU Men's Chorus Winterfest concert at the Conference Center.

Oh, my goodness, y'all!  It was fabulous!  They did four sets after filling the risers while singing "Stout-Hearted Men":  The first set was all in Latin.  Ya gotta love the tight harmonies and the discord and the beautiful, round vowels in that type of choral singing.  When they finished one of them, all I could think was, "That was delicious!"

The next set was several LDS hymns, all having to do with missionary work.  Their arrangement of "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go" was breath-taking, and the Spirit of the Lord was there. 

The next set was old spiritual-types of songs.  The things they did with stacatto and sforzando (sp?) and other vocal techniques was amazing.

And THEN they did a whole set from Disney's "The Jungle Book."  These men were having almost as much fun as we were!

When the concert was over, Spencer said, "Already?"  We looked at our phones and realized it had been over an hour of fantastic music, and we felt amazed and really uplifted.

I love choral music.  I LOVE men's voices.  I love to watch the pianists and the director while the music washes over me.  It was wonderful, and it was all the better because of the fabulous company I was keeping.

As we were walking back to our car, I looked at Spencer, and I was just in love, ya know?  He glanced at me and said, "What?"  I just shrugged, and he said, "You look a whole lot like your mom."

Which might be one of the nicest compliments he's ever given me!

All in all, a wonderful night!

My Mom is the North Star

This was in an email this week from someone I love:
My manager wanted to know my opinion. I said to him, “Do what is right!”


He countered, “I hate it when people put you in these kinds of positions.”


I added, “This isn’t about popularity. It’s about doing what is right."
Let me say here: Geez, Louise! Do the right thing.

It was interesting that I got the above email this week, because just this morning something came up with a friend of mine. This friend is a good person and I cherish our friendship. My friend told me about a situation and said, "Should I just do ____ and repent later or should I ask first?" Because I wanted my friend to understand that it probably wouldn't affect anything to ask first, we walked through everything together. My friend was stuck between a rock and a hard place in the two options being considered. Just as I was about to give my opinion, my friend said, "Let's come back to this."  (I think my friend already know what I would say.)


An hour later we came back to it. My friend said, "Okay, I'm ready now. What do you think I should do?" I replied, "What's the right thing to do?" My friend sighed heavily and said, "I knew you were going to say that." I said, "What would your mother say?" My friend's response: "You're gonna get in trouble!"

Some people grow up with mothers who say to them, "You're gonna get in trouble!"  I'm sorry for them.  A mother shouldn't teach a child to do what may or may not get them in trouble.  She ought to teach them to do the right thing, even when it's hard.  She ought to teach them that in both word and example.

My mom is the latter kind of mother.  I'm trying to be that kind of mother and friend.

But there is no one who is as honest and true as my mom.  Right is right, and if it's right, that's where you'll find my mom.  She's so true that sometimes it frustrates her when people try to hedge around the truth.  She doesn't understand them.  It's just in her to be that way.  She has always been my moral compass--true as the North Star--and I wish everyone had that wonderful blessing.

Because guess what?  Sometimes doing the right thing is really hard.  Sometimes doing the right thing is unpopular.  Sometimes doing the right thing might get you in trouble.  But right is right.  Always.  Wouldn't the world be great if everyone just chose the right, without worrying about their precious image or who might get ahead of them or what someone else might think?  Wouldn't it be great if other people didn't beat you up (literally or figuratively) for doing the right thing?  Yes. Yes it would. 

Well, if you choose the right, you will be on my mom's side.  You wanna be on my mom's side, trust me.  If my mom is on your side, you are in a safe camp.  If everyone was on my mom's side, the world would be a better place.

After I learned that my friend's mother would say, "You're gonna get in trouble" I responded, "My mother would say to do the right thing.  Period."  I walked away, because we also have to let people make their own choices. 

The Right won this battle, and it turned out that the two options we discussed were completely avoided, and a third, better option was found.  Win-win-win.

Thank you, North Star!

Lessons on Service

1.  Truly meaningful service is rarely convenient.
2.  Service is not service if you advertise that you did it.
3.  Wise parents see in every need of others a way to bring blessings into the lives of their sons and daughters (Henry B. Eyring, "Opportunities to Do Good," Ensign, May 2011).

My mother is a MASTER at giving service.  She willingly sets aside large chunks of time to do service projects (ask me about the dolls and the bags and the toiletries and the blood).  Even more amazing to me is her ability to see what needs to be done.  She walks into a home and just knows that ______ is what needs to be done.  My brain doesn't quite work that way, and when I get home and think, "I should have done ____," it seems too little too late (though I often still call and offer). 

But wait, it gets better.  Not only does my mother SEE what needs to be done, she DOES it.  She doesn't worry about spoiling her clothes or missing her show or who might or might not see what she's doing.  She just sees the need, rolls up her sleeves, and takes care of it.

Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity (1 Timothy 4:12). 

For the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified (Roman 2:13).

So here's my (very serious) question:  How do YOU see what needs to be done?  And how do you teach your children to serve?

I'll Keep Her, Too

When I got home from work last night, this was on our bed:

I opened it to see this:

Count them, my friends:

There are 19 hand-made baby blankets; sent by my parents; made by my wonderful, beautiful, caring, talented mother.

(Ashtyn said, "Are you going to cry?"  I said, "Maybe... *sniff, sniff*")

Memories: Inspired By Ann

On the first day of 4th grade, I got sick.  It wasn't cool, because the first day of 4th grade also happened to be the first day in a new school.  When I came to school on Day Two of 4th grade, I was assigned to a new class.  I had gone to the school to find the original classroom.  Now--just one day later--I had a new teacher in a different part of the school, and I had a hard time finding my class.  Therefore, absent on Day One; tardy on Day Two.  Day One + Day Two = Tears.

But that's not what I wanted to tell you about.

On Day One (you remember, I was sick), Mom took me to the doctor.  She had seen Dr. Ely before, but that's the first time I remember seeing him.  He was a loving, gentle man.  He gave me kisses.  Which a doctor could never do now.  But he was just a sweet, kind man, and I believe he loved his job.

Anyway, Dr. Ely looked me over.  As part of the general examination he checked my eyes, and guess what?  Not only was I sick, I was blind!  Sick + Blind = Tears.

Mom and I did not pass go, and we did not collect $200.  We went straight to the eye doctor and then straight to the department to order glasses.  Which was not cool.  Because what 4th grader wants to wear glasses?  4th grade + Eyeglasses = Tears.

Two. Weeks. later, I had new glasses.  Which I was dreading.  For two weeks.  (Modern-day miracle:  60-minute eyeglasses!)

But they put those hateful specs on my face, and I learned that there were individual bricks on the buildings, there were individual leaves on the trees, and it was really possible to read the street and restaurant signs on the way home!

Oh, lovely, beautiful spectacles!

I never washed my glasses.  I hated the way there was a glare when they were clean.  When they would get particularly bad, my mom would lick her index and middle fingers, hold them up like a number 2, and smudge them down my glasses (one finger for each lens). 

Ann's grandma just cleaned her glasses for her.  My mom licked mine.  But both are sweet memories.

Funny how life is...

That was her way of MAKING me clean my glasses.  I hated it when she did that! 

Dear New Mommy (you know who you are):

Being a mother is the best job in the world. It really, really is.

Just like any job, however, there are challenging and un-fun moments. Here are some things you get to look forward to:

1. A child who, in spite of hearing it (and saying it himself!) 400,000 times in the past few years of his life, cannot comprehend the meaning of the word "NO." Baffling!

2. Parent Teacher Conferences. Or worse, Student-Led Conferences. That is all I'm going to say about that.

3. Your children's friends. Sometimes you don't like them.

4. Homework. I know you think you finished school. Think again. If you have 4 children, you will go through school at least 4 more times. Don't let your brain go to slush; you will be sorry if you do!

5. Your babies don't sleep a lot at night. Especially at the beginning. And when they get sick. And when they are teenagers. Just sayin'.

6. Children yell. When they are babies, we call it crying, and it breaks our hearts. When they are teenagers, it's not so cute.

7. Your children will get hurt. They fall off their skateboards. They trip and hit their heads on TVs. They date people who break their hearts. They get in fights with their friends. And every hurt they have hurts you, too. Try to be prepared. You won't be prepared.

On the flip side, you also get to look forward to:

1. Successes that feel like your own, but are even better, because your child did it. Beginning with the first words and attempts at words, to their first steps, to their first great report card, and continuing forever. Biggest hooray! ever.

2. Your children will have joy. They learn to master their skateboards. They trip and pick themselves up again. They date people who don't break their hearts. They hang out with their friends. And every joy they have is yours, too. Try to be prepared. You won't be prepared.

3. Your children's friends. You will love most of them.

4. Your children as friends.

5. When your child yells "Mommy!" with joy, just because you walked in the door. If you're lucky, s/he will do that even when he's old enough to ignore you.

6. Your heart will grow beyond what you can ever imagine is possible. And keep growing.

Get ready. The fun is about to begin!

Memories of...My Mom

My mom has the softest hands in the world. (She used to be rivaled by Lois Marchant, but she's dead now. So Mom is the undisputed "Softest Hands" champion.)

She rarely leaves the house without rubbing her hands together. When we were kids she'd say, "Who needs lotion?" We could hold out our hands and she'd rub them in hers, to get the excess lotion.

I got too much lotion this morning. I was wishing my mom was here, because she would have taken it from me.

Celebrating Life

This post will not be that interesting or funny, but my heart is filled with gratitude, and I believe I will record it here. You will not hurt my feelings if you exit this blog now--I will never know! :)

My mom turns 60 today. She's an incredible lady, and she has been my hero my whole life. She has an incredible moral compass, and I will always choose the right if I ask myself "What would Mom say/do?"

My boss's daughter in Idaho had a 6 pound, 9 ounce baby boy this morning. All is well with both. I can't help but think today is a great day to have a birthday! (Now if they'd just hand him to the strange woman working in Grandpa's office so she could kiss and squeeze. I doubt that's going to happen.)

The gospel is true. What an amazing gift!

The Holy Ghost witnesses, reminds, protects, and guides. I cherish this gift, especially when I forget and receive a sweet reminder.

My sweetheart loves me. I love him. We love our kids. They love us. "...and so you see, we are a happy family." The other day our daughter was texting a friend and reported to me how sad it was that his family shared nothing--no possessions, no time, and not much love. We are so grateful for each of our children, who also happen to be fabulous people who we get to associate with daily. Life is blessed and full and wonderful.

My health is really good. I could stand to lose a few pounds. I need to get back on the exercise wagon. But I'm not blind or numb or shaky or weak. I can walk, talk, and take care of myself and others. For someone who has MS, this is a miracle, and my heart is filled.

Today is Christmas. Spencer and I finally get to see Wicked tonight!

We have employment. We are so grateful to have good employment.

We are surrounded by AWESOME people. Look around you--you are, too! Isn't it fabulous how many wonderful people there are in this world? Too bad all we ever hear reported is the bad stuff. I'm still convinced that in this world there are more good people than bad, more good events than bad, more happy stuff than sad.

Have a happy, grateful day!

Spotlight On..

These are my parents, Shauna and Jon Fish. Some FAQs about them:

1. They were high school enemies/sweethearts in Heber, Utah.

2. They have five children and twenty grandchildren.

3. They love to travel.

4. They love to do pretty much anything together. Mom's not an athlete and Daddy's not a daredevil, but they still go to amusement parks and ballgames together.

5. They've been married for 41 years. Straight. To each other.

6. They weigh... Well, never mind the particulars. But thanks to their healthy lifestyle, they are both in fabulous shape right now!

Here is a non-comprehensive list of things that I love about them:

1. They've always been interested in what I was doing and who I was with. They even blog-stalk my friend Amy. In fact, my mom knew Amy was pregnant before I did. That hurts. A little.

2. They continue to teach me. And my brothers and sisters. And our children. Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and they stand as moral compasses for me. While many kids wanted to do things just to "show" their parents, I always cared about doing the right thing for them. I still do.

3. They are completely devoted to each other. This is perhaps the greatest blessing any child could ever receive!

4. They are cute. I'm glad for that, because at different times of my life I've been told that I look like both of them. :)

5. They know how to love, and they show that love isn't just how you feel--it's how you behave and how you ARE. I'm still working on that, but I have excellent examples!

6. They have always made me feel valued. I could go on and on about this one, but the bottom line is I have never felt looked down upon for being a child, being a girl, being stupid, or being whatever else I might be. OK, maybe once, Daddy, but I'm over it. Really. :)

7. They are generous. This has been a blessing for our family and for many people we love and for many people we don't even know.

8. They are happy and positive. While I was growing up, everything was an adventure, and as long as we were together it was OK. That's a great way to start a life, and a great characteristic to emulate!

I could go on and on. Mostly I want you to know that NOBODY has better parents than I have! I love you, Mom and Daddy!