Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Love Affair

Have I told you the "slut" story?

Pam was a friend who had lots of nice jewelry.  One day her daughter-in-law told her she was a jewelry slut.  It was funny because I could not in a million years picture myself even USING the word "slut" around my mother-in-law.

The conversation then turned to the fact that everyone is a slut of one kind or another.  Jen is a bag slut. Mom is an office supply slut.  I am a book slut.  Ash is a shoe slut.  Bri is a movie slut.

OK, now that you know one kind of slut I am, I would like to tell you that I am a binder clip slut.  I LOVE binder clips.  No kidding, I think they are fabulous.  They hold everything tightly together, but they're so tight that nothing extra can slip into the pile.  There are binder clips of all sizes and colors.  If you go to Target or Walmart or other office supply places you can find the CUTEST little binder clips in all colors, styles, and sizes.  I think they are adorable.

Entheos was a brand-new school the year our children started there.  The school was still gathering desks, boards, chairs, office machinery, etc.  ATK (formerly Hercules) had several abandoned office buildings, and they offered Entheos all of the "stuff" they wanted from one of those buildings.  So a group of parents, teachers, and administrators went to this abandoned building to salvage whiteboards, tables, chairs, and so forth.  I was in that group.  Well, the building was abandoned years ago, but it was not empty.  There were papers lying around in piles or on desks or in boxes.  And everywhere--EVERYWHERE--there were binder clips of all sizes on the floors.  I am not even exaggerating when I tell you that I wished I had a garbage bag so I could gather and keep all those paper clips.  I know!  Nasty, right!?  Because those binder clips had been living with mice and other critters--not to mention the dirt and dust--for YEARS.  Still, it took every ounce of self-control I had not to gather up binder clips and bring them home.

At work our office supply carries three sizes of binder clips:  small, medium, and large.  I go through a lot of the small clips.

Or I DID, until Shari bought some MINI binder clips.  First of all they are ADORABLE.  There is red, blue, green, yellow, black, and white.  They are so cute!  I like to keep the red clips around because my boss is a Utes fan.  Secondly, they are the PERFECT size.  They're larger than a large paper clip (I like paper clips, too, but not as much as binder clips) and smaller than a small binder clip, so they fit those stacks of paper that are just in-between.  Which is a lot of different piles of paper!  I'm telling you, the mini binder clips are the PERFECT binder clip size.

A few months ago I was made the managing administrator over the p-card system.  That sounds important, but all it means is that I have to make sure there are receipts for each expenditure and click on a  box in the online accounting system.  All those receipts?  You guessed it:  they come clipped together with mini binder clips.  I usually put the receipts for a given expense report into an envelope because it's easier to file that way.  That means I remove the binder clips.  I have a small container in my desk organizer that holds mini binder clips.  Only I get them from others faster than I use them or give them away.

The good news is that Shari keeps containers in the shared cupboard on our floor.  If you have surplus, you can put it in the cupboard; if you need more of something, you can get it from the cupboard (you should have seen the TUBS of paper clips and binder slips that were in the cupboard when everyone moved onto the floor!  I could have played for HOURS.).  So I can take my extraneous mini binder clips to the cupboard.

Only, guys?  I have the hardest time doing it!  I don't want to give them up.  They're completely superfluous and they make my drawer not want to shut.  But I can't let them go.  It's ridiculous, really.  Then, when it's time to take them to the cupboard, I have to make the decision which of my children  binder clips I should keep and which I should place in the adoption cupboard.

It's a dilemma, I'm tellin' ya!

It's also completely irrational and probably certifiable.  I figure I might as well just own it.  That's why you know now:  My name is Aundrea, and I am a binder clip slut.