You're Never Fully Dressed...

Over the past 3 months I've had many and increasing problems with one of the administrative assistants who works for me.  It's hard to be the bearer of bad tidings to someone, because I empathize with her.  However, if I expect her to truly be successful, I need to draw a line in the sand to indicate what is appropriate and what is not.

In my meetings with this person, it has been demonstrated numerous times that she sees herself as a victim in everything; she never takes any responsibility for her own behaviors or the consequences of her behavior.  If I can continue to find the right ways to communicate with her, I believe I can help her keep her job.  But because of her attitude, I doubt she will EVER excel in her job, because she is not humble enough to learn.

Case in point:  Our purchasing agent went to this woman and pointed out to her that she had made a specific mistake in numerous purchase requisitions.  She denied having made that mistake, although he held evidence in his hand.  She just would not believe that she had done anything wrong, and in the end she projected the problem back to him, wondering aloud what his job was if she was going to have to do everything.  Our purchaser is wonderful, and he is more than willing to help and to train.  This same mistake had been made by at least three other admins, all of whom owned and fixed the error the first time he talked to them.  The first admin was unable to own (and therefore, fix) her mistake until the purchaser approached me with it.

Today I had my year-end meeting with this admin, wherein we discussed her goals and her performance in those goals.  Not only did she not want to "own" her goals (about which we've talked multiple times this year), but she said that the problems about which I was "so concerned" (her words) were caused by others.  In fact--she said--she has been targeted by so many people throughout her life that it was "impossible" for her to smile because life is just.so.difficult.

Ironically I met with another admin immediately after this meeting.  Admin #2 has had some very difficult challenges throughout her life, and especially in the past 3 years.  However, if you asked anyone to describe her, the words used would be "bubbly," "energetic," "helpful," "happy."

And here's the difference.  Admin #1 sees LIFE through a dark perception.  She anticipates being victimized and she won't own any of her own problems.  Therefore, to her, life is hard and dark.  Admin #2 sees LIFE through a happy perception.  She understands that it's OK to cry when things hurt or are hard, but she also understands that it's up to her to find ways to overcome and get back to being happy.  In fact, she is unwilling to be anything but happy.  I've seen her really struggle with things, but she does so with optimism and faith.

I hope I'm more like Admin #2.

Are you?