You're Never Fully Dressed...

Over the past 3 months I've had many and increasing problems with one of the administrative assistants who works for me.  It's hard to be the bearer of bad tidings to someone, because I empathize with her.  However, if I expect her to truly be successful, I need to draw a line in the sand to indicate what is appropriate and what is not.

In my meetings with this person, it has been demonstrated numerous times that she sees herself as a victim in everything; she never takes any responsibility for her own behaviors or the consequences of her behavior.  If I can continue to find the right ways to communicate with her, I believe I can help her keep her job.  But because of her attitude, I doubt she will EVER excel in her job, because she is not humble enough to learn.

Case in point:  Our purchasing agent went to this woman and pointed out to her that she had made a specific mistake in numerous purchase requisitions.  She denied having made that mistake, although he held evidence in his hand.  She just would not believe that she had done anything wrong, and in the end she projected the problem back to him, wondering aloud what his job was if she was going to have to do everything.  Our purchaser is wonderful, and he is more than willing to help and to train.  This same mistake had been made by at least three other admins, all of whom owned and fixed the error the first time he talked to them.  The first admin was unable to own (and therefore, fix) her mistake until the purchaser approached me with it.

Today I had my year-end meeting with this admin, wherein we discussed her goals and her performance in those goals.  Not only did she not want to "own" her goals (about which we've talked multiple times this year), but she said that the problems about which I was "so concerned" (her words) were caused by others.  In fact--she said--she has been targeted by so many people throughout her life that it was "impossible" for her to smile because life is just.so.difficult.

Ironically I met with another admin immediately after this meeting.  Admin #2 has had some very difficult challenges throughout her life, and especially in the past 3 years.  However, if you asked anyone to describe her, the words used would be "bubbly," "energetic," "helpful," "happy."

And here's the difference.  Admin #1 sees LIFE through a dark perception.  She anticipates being victimized and she won't own any of her own problems.  Therefore, to her, life is hard and dark.  Admin #2 sees LIFE through a happy perception.  She understands that it's OK to cry when things hurt or are hard, but she also understands that it's up to her to find ways to overcome and get back to being happy.  In fact, she is unwilling to be anything but happy.  I've seen her really struggle with things, but she does so with optimism and faith.

I hope I'm more like Admin #2.

Are you?

Only the Second Time

My mother got up and got herself ready for the day every morning.  She always put on clean clothes, did her hair, and did her makeup.  She encouraged me to do the same, even if I knew the day was going to be filled with dirt, sweat, or tears.

On the flip side, I have often felt that my beauty came from the inside out, so I'm quite comfortable in my own, un-made-up skin.  I have no problem going to the store without makeup.

Still, I've tried to get ready for every day, including most school days from the time I started wearing makeup, and DEFINITELY for every work day.

Today I came to work without makeup for the second time in my life.  Funny thing is someone told me I looked really pretty.  Ha.  That's a laugh.  It's kind of them to say, but even I cringe when I look in the mirror.  :)

My mother would be appalled.  I was just glad to get here this morning.

Allergies

Spencer called me this morning to do a math problem for him.  I love when he does that, because it makes me feel like I might actually have something useful to contribute--because he's just so freaking awesome.

Anyway, he asked how my day was going, and I told him I think I'm allergic to my job.  His response?  "YA THINK?"

I Acted Like A Manager Today (in a good way)

When I interviewed for this job, one of the questions they asked me was, "If you were given this job, what changes would you make?"  I had been thinking about the answer, and I didn't think I had a good answer.  I responded, "Well, just having me here would be a big change, because I am not Karleen.  But I think I would like to look at the duties of each individual and determine ways that the people can learn and grow.  So maybe some cross-training opportunities.  That kind of thing."

As it turned out, they gave me a job that was much more people-intensive than my predecessor, and I've been excited about the opportunity to see what kind of meaningful and good changes might need to be made.  During some conversations a couple of weeks ago I had a clear picture in my mind of what needed to happen in order to fix x, y, and z.

My direct supervisor and I put together recommendations, which were approved.  We then discussed everything with the section manager over the managers who would be affected AND the section manager over the admins.  They approved the changes.  THEN I discussed the changes with all of the group managers and got their buy-in.  And today was the day we told the admins (my employees) about the changes.

It was very managerial.

It also went well, and I'm grateful for the wonderful people I work with.  Next step is to implement changes (beginning on Monday) and pray that things run smoothly.

Do I Go Straight To Excited?

So, I FINALLY finished that MBA in November.  That meant that it was time to start looking for work, and I was DETERMINED to leave the company I presently work for.

Then one day my dear friend--a former supervisor in my present corporation--called me to come to her office.  She told me she was retiring and that I should apply for her job.  The whole time she's talking I'm thinking about how much I love the people there and how 4 years ago her job would have been my dream job; and also about how in the past 3 years I've gotten SO fed up with the glass ceiling at my work.  She was probably really confused about how non-committal I was.

BUT I left her office and walked straight to the office of the director of the division (who I know), where we had a nice conversation that actually included the possibility of growth opportunities (Twilight Zone!).  So when the job was posted, I applied.

I interviewed for the position just before Christmas, and they hoped to make a decision immediately.  I felt good about the interview, but I saw the resume of one other person, and she was and is fabulous.  Over the subsequent weekend, I knew that that job was not mine.  I was disappointed, but I was grateful that I got to deal with the disappointment privately.

The hiring manager kept in contact with me every few days, letting me know that the decision still had not been made.  After a couple of weeks, he came up to visit with me shortly in the cafeteria; and as he walked away, I had the feeling that I WAS going to get the job.  It was strange because I really wasn't being just pessimistic before.  I had known that the job wasn't mine.

In the meantime, I had applied for another job--with another corporation--and it was for the job I have DREAMED of having for over a decade.  I received a call asking me to come for an interview.  But now I was SURE I was going to be offered the job at my company and that they were on a pretty strict timeline because my friend is retiring.  So for a couple of days I stewed and prayed and thought and talked to family.  And I came to the very calm conclusion that if they offered me the position, I would accept it.

This past Thursday I received an appointment request to meet with my friend and the hiring manager.  His words were, "The bad news is that we are not offering you the job you applied for.  The good news is that we have another job we ARE offering you."  It turns out that upper management decided--after the interviews--that they wanted to restructure the job rather than having it as it has been for the past years.  They did that during the weekend when I KNEW that I was not getting the job.  The restructure came together and was approved this past Monday, the same day that I KNEW I was getting the job.  What they decided to do was take two jobs, throw them together, and assign the duties from those two jobs to two different people.  So that woman who I was sure would be great?  She is getting one portion of the job.  She gets the more technical side of things:  running reports, keeping databases current, and overseeing technical support for the employees of that division.  I will be doing the more supervisory/managerial stuff and some technical writing.

Hiring two different people, however, meant that there needed to be approval to hire them both at the higher level they had advertised; and THAT requires managing director approval.  Enter our managing director, who used to be the director of the division for which I was applying to work.  He's a brat.  He's a bully.  He's a diva.  He and I have a courteous relationship, but he knows that I don't love him.  But in less than two hours the hiring manager went from an email to me that said, "We've hit a snag," to sending me the meeting appointment to offer me a job.  Our managing director had not even hesitated to sign the approval when he learned it was me they were talking about.

I accepted the position offered to me.  I'm very happy about the opportunities to do new things and learn new things.  I thanked my managing director for his goodness to me in this particular case (that was actually a really nice conversation).  I went down to my new office and did several hours of training on Friday.  I announced my new job to the people in my current division.  I cancelled my interview with the other company.

And with all of this, I wouldn't say I am excited.  I'm happy, yes.  I'm anticipating.  But mostly I'm calm, and that is a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

Yesterday Briana and I went to the temple.  After we had performed our service there, I walked over to the prayer roll to enter some names.  As I stood there I had clear recollections of two different friends who--during the course of the past couple of weeks--had put my name on the prayer roll when they've attended the temple.  And now I know that I am calm because of the tender mercies of the Lord.  He has been giving me gentle care all along, and I am incredibly thankful for His watchcare and for the beautiful blessing of wonderful friends.

Ready, Set, Go

A few weeks ago I came unglued at work.  I know, you're shocked.  When it originally happened, my boss was traveling.  My dear girlfriends came to my therapeutic aid and started helping me find some things to do to help with what was bothering me.  A few days later my boss came back and I ranted to him.  This time I'm pretty sure I pushed his last button.  He left on another trip the next day and I didn't hear from him at all for two entire days.  When I did hear from him, it was several emails sent to our entire division (addressing some of my concerns); and there no one-to-one contact for the duration of his trip.

Several things have come from this meltdown:

1.  I have decided that I cannot stay at my employment for the long term.  Yes, I have been frustrated before, but this one sent me home in absolute, complete, utter frustration ("frustration" is not a strong enough term).  While I'm dealing with the vexation, it is also clear in my head that I have to get out of there.  Therefore, when I graduate, I am going to take my MBA for a spin and see where it can take me.  Maybe it will take me to another clerical desk, and that's OK--as long as it is not for the corporation for which I currently work.  And maybe--just maybe--I'll find something that is a wonderful fit for me!

2.  I am busy at work.  Every. Day.  This makes me wonder why it took 2.5 years and a come-apart to figure out how to make this happen.

3.  My boss and I have a different relationship now.  We are still good friends.  I still love him very much (in appropriate ways).  But I know that I have pushed him as far as he's ever going to go with me, and he knows that I have bent as far as I'm going to bend.  Without going into details, this sounds like he's the bad guy.  He's not.  He's a very, very good guy, and the Corporation would be better if they could clone him.  But he's done all he can do, and I accept that.  It also sounds like we are no longer friends, which is far from the truth.  We are both mature enough to continue a friendship even when there are weaknesses to be faced. I'm very grateful for that, and I hope we will be friends for a very, very long time.

I Had a Complete Meltdown

Monday was maybe the most frustrating day I've ever had at work.  And that, my friends, is saying something.  I came home, threw my stuff on the bed and exclaimed, "I have just got to get out of there!"  Then I ranted some more and had myself a little pity party, in which Ashtyn was an active participant and during which Spencer nodded his agreement all the while.  :)

The next day--still frustrated, but calmed by a listening ear, a good night's rest, and a run--I spoke with a co-worker about some thoughts I'd had.

Yesterday I vowed to be kind, hold my tongue, and make it a better day.

Today that same co-worker came to me with some ideas of her own.  Ideas all designed to help me.  Another co-worker stopped by to see me, which was a wonderful treat.

Tomorrow is the end of the week.  I am glad.

I'm not glad I left my phone at work, though.  How am I going to get through my run without tunes?  *sigh* My first-world problems....

When the Synapses Don't Fire

My husband tells the story of when the girl he had been in love with during high school announced to him and his friend that she was engaged to be married.  In his mind, the conversation went something like this:

M:  Hey!  Guess what!  I'm getting married!
K (S's friend):  Wow.  Congratulations.  That's terrific.
S:  Yes, congratulations.  I'm very happy for you.

His friend, however, says it went more like this:

M: Hey! Guess what! I'm getting married!
K (S's friend): Wow. Congratulations. That's terrific.
*****LONG, AWKWARD SILENCE*****
S: Yes, congratulations. I'm very happy for you.

Apparently, his brain went into slow motion or something. 

I've laughed about that story for years, because sometimes we'll be having a conversation and I'll ask a question, but the answer doesn't come for several minutes.  I tell him, "Your synapses are misfiring again."

Today my boss was looking for a specific document about a property in France.  If he had shown me the words, I would have been able to tell you that it was pronounced "San (nasal) Clu," which is exactly what he was saying.  However, the French do not have a very phonetically-friendly language, and in my word-based mind, all I could picture was "St. Clu."  So--hoping to help by looking for the document in a database--I said, "How is that spelled?"  He looked at me but did not answer.  A few minutes later I said, "Spell that for me."  We made eye contact, but there was no answer.  About 10 minutes later I'm on the phone with someone else, still looking for the information.  I asked him again for the spelling and he didn't answer.  Finally I said, "My friend, do you not know how to spell this or are you just ignoring me?"  He got a totally surprised look on his face--as if he'd already answered three times--and said, "It's Saint Cloud."

TOTAL synapse misfire!

Overheard at Work

"That redhead up there said, 'Look, Mills, you wanna have dinner tonight, you better cool your jets.'"

The best part is I can TOTALLY hear Sister Mills saying this to her hubby!

A Tremendous Coup

I have actually been busy at work lately, which means less blogging.  However, today I had to report my amazing success.  First a little background:

When I first came to work--5 1/2 years ago--my boss's office was a MESS.  There were papers strewn everywhere.  I made it a priority to spend some time every day getting caught up with the filing.  In doing so, however, I found that the files were filled with things that were nearly 20 years old.  I brought the filing up-to-date and then I started bugging him about going through the files and getting rid of things.  It actually didn't take too long before he was willing to do that.  That exercise was actually very helpful for me in getting to know the business that was done there, what was important to the person I was working for, and not going crazy because of what I thought was a "mess."

At the same time, I was also supporting a group manager.  The man is--to this day--one of my favorite people on earth.  He is kind and gentle and sensitive.  He is also a MASTER at his business.  But organized he is not!  One week he got sick, and I shut myself into his office for three straight days.  I tidied, trashed, filed, organized, and deep cleaned.  When he came back his initial reaction was delight, mostly because I had organized his family pictures on top of this Steelcase.  Later that same day, he realized that things had been moved.  By that time I knew the business, and I was confident that nothing important had gone away; but he was nervous.  Luckily it took only a short time for him to realize that all was well.

The next assignment I had was in an office that had been occupied by three different people in about 6 months' time.  There were files and duplicates of files.  So I got busy and got things organized, archived, and general cleaned up.

Then I moved to my current position.  That was 2 1/2 years ago.  My boss has had about 18 huge binders in his office that were dated back to 1998.  When I first dug into his filing, I asked him about those binders (and many others).  I told him they were OLD.  I reminded him that he had never looked at them.  I got a lot of things organized and even tossed, but those many binders stayed.  About a year ago we physically moved to another office and floor.  Again we went through all of his files and binders.  Again we got rid of quite a bit.  But again we could not get rid of those binders.

The man is brilliant when it comes to systems, but for some reason he needs to keep a hard copy of everything.  After a year in these digs, every drawer and every shelf has been filled to the brim.  I started bugging him in November, telling him that we needed to go through everything and decide what was important to keep and what was not.  It looked like the week of Christmas was going to be our opportunity, but he got sick.

You know what's coming, right?  Today was the day!  He set aside time for only me, and we went through the cabinets in his office.  Finally FINALLY we got rid of those binders.  I promptly stripped them of their materials and threw the innards into the shred bid.  We emptied about 50 binders. The binders have been salvaged (to be re-used), the papers have been taken away by custodial services' shred service, and one entire cabinet has been emptied.  My stack of things to file is tall, but not nearly as tall as the stack of garbage we tossed.

 I feel like I just conquered the world! 

I Go For Days with Nothing to Say...

...but today is not that day.

I am currently on a term break with school.  Earning my MBA has taken much longer than I would have guessed at the beginning.  Part of it is that I have to take term breaks in order to get the money together for the next term.  But really, let's be honest.  It is really hard to go to school.  I have learned that I would probably do better with a teacher and a class instead of online.  I have learned that I really, really like to be home and I am easily distracted by my sweet family (who I just adore).  I have learned that it would be OK with me if I was a full-time mom and grandma forever.  I already knew that one, sort of--but sometimes we have to travel to the greener grass on the other side of the fence in order to REALLY KNOW (stupid, right?).

I have also learned that my dream job is not in business.  I chose an MBA (instead of another master's emphasis) because I thought it would give me a good look at many different careers:  HR, marketing, finance, etc.  I was right about that.  But I've also found that I don't LOVE any of those things.  I can do them, but I don't love them.

Working toward an MBA has opened other learning opportunities for me, particularly in my work.  When people learn that I am a student, they treat me with more respect than a "lowly secretary."  That bugs me (everyone should receive respect and acceptance), but it definitely opens doors for me.  Also, my boss (who is the kind of person who is open and willing to allow me to participate and learn) has been even more open to my input because of my familiarity with parlance, theories, etc.

 Last month we had a training meeting in our division that involved studying brain dominance theory.  That test showed me something I already knew--I am an empathetic person and I excel with people.

In a way, this makes me laugh, because frankly, people kinda make me crazy.  When they do stupid things I just want to SCREAM in frustration.  I really hate working retail, because people are so rude!  Customer service jobs BITE because I hate that people think they are ENTITLED to something.

The flip side of that is that I care and get bugged about these things because I AM a people person.  I believe--to my core--that ALL people should be treated fairly, kindly, and respectfully.  That includes the customer's treatment of the service providerAND vice versa.  No one is ENTITLED to preferential treatment just because he or she holds a certain degree or is holding the cash or has a certain title.

Also, I love children, and they love me.  I always wanted to teach school, from the time I was a child myself.  But once I reached adulthood, I did not (and I still do not) want to play the political games that are involved for school teachers.  Their livelihood is very much influenced by the national, state, and local political "scene" as well as the politics that are in any workplace.  I LOVED having my preschool because I got to teach, organize, plan, and love kids, but I didn't have to fight any politics.  If a parent didn't want their child to be with me, they could leave.  And guess what?  That was OK with me, because I truly wanted what was best for each child and for their parents (that people-person thing again).

I've have many people ask why I didn't/don't do daycare.  It's because I love kids, but I also love structure.  Also--as long as we're being honest--there are certain things about motherhood that I don't miss, diapers being at the forefront.  School with 4-year-olds is one thing.  All day with babies and toddlers is another.

One of the things I really loved about preschool was that, at the end of the day, I felt really fulfilled about what I had done that day.  I had many things to laugh about.  I had many things to learn.  And I saw the lights turn on in the eyes of many children.  Additionally, I gave them a safe harbor for several hours each week.  I couldn't fix all of their families' problems, but I could give them a safe, happy, educational, loving atmosphere while they were with me.  Many of them already had that at home.  Far too many did not.

In the past week I've had three different people confide things to me.  ALWAYS they just need someone who they trust will keep their issues private, who will listen to them, who will help them carry the burden that they can't carry alone, and who will love them in spite of their challenges and their weaknesses.  I feel these things very deeply, and there are times when I am moved to tears because of my pain for others' challenges.  These people (and their families) go on my prayer list.  But I learned while I was teaching Good Touch/Bad Touch that at some point I have to let it go.  It's OK to cry.  It's OK to give empathy and sympathy.  But in order to not be paralyzed by the sadness, I have to let it go.  I think I could do something like that professionally, and I think it would be fulfilling to help enable people to find the strength to deal with hard things.

So the careers I'm considering are as follows.  The first one would be my #1 choice, but the rest are in no particular order, simply because I DON'T KNOW!

• Quitting employment altogether and staying home to take my high schooler to lunch, take care packages to my kids in college, plan play dates with my grandchildren, and volunteer somewhere wonderful.  Unfortunately, we need my income, so this is not the most viable option.
• Teaching college, especially if I were somewhere like a business college (because of my career experience).  What I don't know is a) if I'm qualified; b) if I would love college students the way I love younger children; c) how colleges are influenced by politics. 
• Getting a degree in social work or counseling, and specializing in working with children.  What I don't know is a) if anyone would want to hire a 50-something woman with no experience; b) if the financial and time trade-offs would be worth it this late in my life; c) if I would actually enjoy it once I got there. 
• Staying right where I am, helping these people who I've come to love, and volunteering somewhere wonderful.  Here I don't feel the fulfillment that I might in another career; but if I volunteer somewhere, I can find that, I think.  Here I'm comfortable.  Here I don't have to leave my family or spend lots of money and time to go to school.  Here I don't work with children (chronologically), but it's really not that different in how they need to be treated (I just can't give hugs).  Here I get really good benefits, my job is very stable, and I am earning retirement benefits. 

 

Devotional

On Saturday, a friend of mine got married.  She works in the same department I do, so in this morning's floor devotional, it was announced that her marriage was on Saturday.  The director who was conducting said, "Where is she now?"  Of course, there were some chuckles that she was busy this week. 

He then said, "With that, we will sing 'They the Builders of the Nation.'"

I've had a couple of people thank me for my laughter.

Random Happenings at Our House

Taylor has scheduled with the Salt Lake Temple to receive his endowment at the 9:00 a.m. session on Thursday, June 21st.

I made a seriously awesome lasagna for dinner last night.

I've been spending some time watching "Cheers" on Netflix.  It makes me LOL.

Spencer is working a second (swing) shift through the end of the year--have I mentioned that?  It's hard.  We never see each other.  I purposely don't blot my lipstick before I kiss him goodbye in the mornings.  :)

Ash and Lando have been in Idaho with their grandparents this week.  They'll be home today.  Hooray!

I had my first stake Primary presidency meeting this week.

Bountiful Baskets gave us a fruit, and I have no idea what it is.  But it's really good!

Spencer got a little Mazda Miata.  It's black  The name choices are:  Black Pearl, Jafar, Frozone, or Zurg.  Any votes?

Everything Was Settled for a Minute

The department I work for has a new managing director.  He happens to have been the managing director of the department I used to work for.  Before that he was the director of the division I worked for.  My friends--knowing how I've felt about this person--have all been very kind to me, for which I am incredibly grateful.

If someone had asked me if I was OK on Friday or Monday, the answer would have been "Not so much."  Spoken through tears.

But as of yesterday (and continuing to today), I am doing very well.  I am looking at this latest change as an opportunity to grow and learn something that I clearly haven't learned yet.  Patience? Kindness? Tolerance? Self-Mastery?  All of the above?  More?

Yeah, I'm going with "More." 

And, as my sweet, finger-wiggling friend reminded me, the division of (mostly) men and (a few cherished) women who I love will now be in my department again.  Blessings abound!

Now we just need to get ready for the next (almost-guaranteed) move.

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

I am blessed--and cursed--with a strong personality.  I have confidence, I feel my own self-worth, I feel capable of contributing.  I am also incredibly blessed to live with my best friends.  My husband and children are wonderful people who, incidentally, I hope to have as mine forever.  I love them with all my heart; but mostly I just like them a whole lot!

When we decided that it was time for me to go to work full time, I thought there were things that would be fun.  I was excited to wear something besides jeans and t-shirts (oh, Jeans and T-shirts!  How I miss thee now!).  I thought it would be fun to ride the bus and the train into the city each day.  I thought my brain would get some new exercise. 

What I didn't think would happen was that I would make cherished friends.  I was not looking for buddies; I already have buddies at home!

Yesterday the man who was my first manager in my full-time work came to my desk.  I no longer work in the same department as he, so his being at my desk means that he made an extra effort to come see me.  He said this was the 4th time he had come; the other three times I had been in my current manager's office.  We chatted for just a couple of minutes, mostly about our families.

After he left, tears sprang to my eyes.  I miss working with him and many others on 2LL.  I miss them terribly.  But if I left where I am now, I would miss these people terribly.  Truly, I would miss them enough to bring tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Every time this feeling overwhelms me, I am surprised.  I did not expect to love my co-workers the way I do.  I did not expect to care about their families and their church callings and their jobs.  I did not expect them to care about mine.  I did not expect to be so blessed in so many ways--professionally AND personally--by so many people.  I did not think that I would sit in the cafeteria and greet literally hundreds of people and care about each one of them.  I didn't know that I would celebrate the conception of babies or mourn the deaths of parents and siblings of the people I worked with.  I did not anticipate putting my co-workers' names on the temple prayer roll month after month for years on end.  I did not know that I would pray for missionary sons and daughters by name, even though I've never met them.  It didn't even occur to me that I would wish that my work friends knew my parents and my husband and our children, or that I would wish that I could travel with them, or that we would gather for lunch or dinner or a 5K just for the FUN of it.

My life has been so richly blessed by so many people; and of course, it is not limited just to co-workers.  But to my cherished work friends--past and present--THANK YOU for blessing me.  I love you so much!

I Was In 8th Grade Today

I took a really fun drama class in 8th grade.  I know, it was only 8th grade, but it left an impression.  One of the most memorable assignments we had was to people-watch.  Then we had to come back to class and pantomime a person we saw.  If they had been interacting with someone, we had to choose just one person to mime.  We lived in a VERY small community, so there weren't a lot of places to go people-watching as an 8th grader with an overnight assignment.  Therefore, EVERY pantomime was from the cafeteria.  It ended up being a lot of fun because we all recognized one another in the things that we acted out.

I really enjoy people watching.  I especially love to watch children, whose joy is so often simply unbridled.  I also love to watch their parents.  Usually the parents are harried or worried or busy or distracted, and they miss their children's absolute joy in the moment.  I sometimes worry that I might get arrested for being creepy (or something), because I think I could go somewhere where there are children, plant myself on a chair, and watch them all day.  Watching children makes my heart light.

Every once in a while, as I am people-watching, I will think, "I wonder what they are saying to one another?  If I had to re-create that as a spoken scene, what would those character say?  If I labeled each character with the emotion they are feeling, what would it be?"  (I know!  It's amazing what holds over from 8th grade!)

This morning I witnessed (from 15 feet away) a 5-second interaction with two women at work.  Woman #1 leaned in, her back leg "popped," and she said something to the other woman.  Woman #2's eyes never left the face of Woman #1 as she absently stroked her skirt.  She glanced down quickly toward her lap, smiled gratifyingly up at Woman #1, and her mouth formed the words, "Thank you."

I think I know what happened during those 5 seconds.  I think Woman #2 knows what happened in those 5 seconds.  But I wonder if Woman #1 saw the gratitude, the acceptance, the "beaming" of Woman #2.

A Bum or Two or Three

My SIL measures the size of kitchen in bums.  She has a two-bum kitchen maximum capacity.  My grandma's kitchen was a one-bum kitchen, for sure.  Mine is much larger:  I'd say it's a four-bum kitchen.

But the hallways between our cubicles at work?  One and a half bums.  Two if both people are skinny.

We need a passing lane.

No Hot Dogs? Great!

Once upon a time I was the PTA president at the elementary school our children attended.  I have all kinds of memories and experiences from that time, but this one stands out because it has come back to me so many times.

Our board had planned to hold a reading carnival in the spring.  So we had a buzz session to decide exactly what we wanted to do.  I took all kinds of notes, and then said, "OK, we've talked about a lot of different things.  Let's get organized.  Who wants to be in charge of the hot dogs?"  For 20 seconds no one said a word, so I said, "Alright, great.  No hot dogs."  And I crossed hot dogs off the list.  Then I said, "Who wants to be in charge of balloons?"  Another 20 seconds of silence followed, so I said, "No balloons?  Great!" I crossed balloons off the list.  "Who wants...?"

At that point one of the commissioners stopped me.  She said, "Hold on.  Go back.  I'll do the balloons."  We discussed some particulars, I gave her the budget, and she took control.  I never worried about the balloons. 

The rest of the discussion went well.  Each person offered to head up part of the carnival.  I did not babysit them.  I figured if they wanted hot dogs, they could take care of it.  If it wasn't done, oh well.  No hot dogs!

The funniest part about this is that at least 3 different times when I saw some of those ladies, I got introduced to their friends as "that PTA president who was willing to just cross hot dogs off the list," and the new friends go, "Oh!  That was you!"

Fast forward 10 years.  My friend keeps telling me about a job where she works.  It is an HR position, doing workers' comp and other types of issues.  The woman who currently has the job is busy all the time.  Knowing how irritated I get with stupidity, I said, "Yeah, right.  I'd be the perfect fit for that.  I'd be all, 'Stupid head!  I've told you 14 times that if you don't fill out this form there's nothing I can do for you!'"  She replied, "No cotton candy?  Great!  No form?  Great!"
I might have to think about this job...  ;)

The Status of My Work

I am now working on a different floor than I did last week.  There will be more changes on this floor, but for now I'm neighbors with many of the men I worked with when I first started working for this corporation.  It feels a lot like coming home. 

One thing I've realized about being neighbors with these guys is that I haven't heard or participated in a complete conversation about scaffolds, rifles, hunting, blood, industrial accidents, or any number of other cool or obscure things in a really long time.

My friend IM'd me this morning to tell me about an opening in her department and her building.  I could probably talk my way into the job if I really wanted to.  It's one pay grade higher than where I am currently.  They wear pants at their building.

But I'm happy where I am currently.  It's a nice feeling.

Destroying a Boggart

There is someone here at work--one of my superiors--who I really don't like.  I'm not afraid of him, per se, but it is definitely like walking on egg shells most of the time because he is GUARANTEED to start bullying at any moment.  He's a diva.  He's a brat.  He's a bully.

But a conversation helped me figure out how to slay this boggart.  I was imagining him wearing one of those talking dog collars in "Up" that translates so we would actually know what he was thinking.  Only maybe we wouldn't want to know. 

UNLESS he could also be in the Cone of Shame.

Sorry for mixing the movies, but I can hardly stop laughing.

Ridikulus!