Sometimes the Little Things Aren't Really Little

Last night I spent a couple of hours delivering treats to my Primary class members, the ladies I visit teach, and my nieces and nephews.  It was enjoyable.  It was no big deal, and it was kind of a big deal, because it was a four-hour project (2 hours putting together the treats, and 2 hours delivering them).  I'm not complaining, because I loved every minute of it.

At one house, the mother gave me a huge hug and said, "Aundrea, I just love you so much!  I don't really know why, but I do.  Well, I do know why.  It's a million little reasons."  That hug and the sweet words of a woman I also love and admire were a beautiful highlight for the evening.

Our nephews got all dressed up in their Halloween costumes during my visit to their house.  They seemed as delighted to show me as I was to see them.  They also brought out their stuffed animals in the costumes their mother made for them.  There were a dozen or more costumed stuffed animals!  What a wonderful memory those kids will have of their mother's love for them!  My cheeks HURT by the time I left their home.

Last night two of our "sons" came over to visit.  When the first one walked into the house (they've been told they don't have to knock), I got misty eyes immediately--I was so happy to see him!  I've missed these kids!  It meant going out of their way to come to our house, so it was a sacrifice on their part.  But oh! that little visit means so much to me!

One of the boys has been working hard to become temple worthy.  When he walked into the House of the Lord, he had to show the worker a small rectangular piece of paper indicating his worthiness to be there.  It seems like such a small thing, but the road has been long and difficult.  It is a very big deal to him and to those of us who love him.

The small, seemingly insignificant things add up to big things in our lives.  Sometimes, though, those small things aren't really small at all.

Thinking about Life Again

A friend recently wrote something like, "Life is hard with occasional happy times.  It was meant to be that way, because it is a test."

I disagree with her.  I think life is meant to be happy with occasional down days.  That doesn't mean that hard things don't happen, and some hard things last a while. 

For example, right now my grandpa is on hospice care.  The main caregiver is my grandma, who is often not even recognized by her nearly-lifelong sweetheart.  There is very little Grandpa can do, so Grandma does it all.  It is a heavy load to bear for her.  She does better when she can at least get a good night's rest, but that is often interrupted by his trying to leave the house to "go to work" or his taking a fall.  It's really hard on her.  But my grandma has been an absolute CHAMPION through all of this.  Each time we speak she talks of the blessings she is receiving.  She laughs a lot.  She is incredibly patient and oh, so kind!

My grandma is doing something really hard.  She is more than 85 years old, and she deserves a rest.  But she is so grateful and glad to be capable of helping her sweetheart during this season.  And she knows that another season is coming.  In fact, the only way this difficult season will end is for Grandma to enter a season WITHOUT Grandpa.  Certainly that is a daunting thought.  But she smiles, "cowboys up," and does what needs to be done with happiness and gratitude.

Another friend taught me this week that life might be described as a 1-10 scale, with 1 being terribly miserable and 10 being as happy as can possible be.  Most people ride a roller coaster between 2 and 10, thinking that their happiness is at the mercy of life's circumstances.  My friend said she would much rather ride most days at a 6 or 7.  According to Elder Packer it's OK to have a "good bad day" every once in a while.  And certainly we should enjoy every moment of joy that is given to us.  But we also have a responsibility for our own happiness.  Like my grandma, we can smile, even when life doesn't seem easy or fair.  And by "smile" I don't just mean turning up the corners of our mouths (although that's a wonderful start).  I mean that we find true happiness in all that we do.

The other thing I really believe is that people who are happy attract happiness to themselves.  Choosing happiness is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  People who are happy will want to be with you (the "birds of a feather" philosophy).  And even though hard things will happen, if you are already happy, surrounded by happy people, making other people and circumstances as happy as possible, those hard things will just be another bridge to cross in a happy life.

It is true that most days we turn off the alarm clock, get ready for a day of work, take care of the mundane, and start again the next day.  Sometimes I think it would be fine with me if I were independently wealthy, travelled the world, ate all the finest foods, was never in another traffic jam, never had someone say harsh words to me or my loved ones, changed a stinky diaper, washed a dirty dish, tackled the never-ending laundry (again), got sick, or any of the other unpleasant things that might come to us in our lives. 

But what if we had never played a game of Lifesavers-in-Flour because it only cost us $.50?  We if we had never planned a fun stay-cation or party day so that we could be with our family?  What if we hadn't shared the love, acceptance, hugs, kleenexes, and hysterical laughter that come with heartbreak?   What if we had missed parenthood?  What if we were physically unable to do things (and even then...)?  What if we lived somewhere where "dirty" was the norm?

There's just too much to be grateful for, to laugh at, to love, to do, to see, to think, to feel, to hear, to EXPERIENCE and to LIVE to be unhappy, even when things are hard.  And the world would be a better place if we all took the responsibility to be happy ourselves and then pay it forward.

Lucky Mom

I sent Sister Hill our Benny card so she can go get contact lenses.  She did not understand how it worked, so she contacted the mission mom.  Sister C gave her permission to text me and find out all about it.

So this morning I got to have a text conversation with our daughter.  It wasn't much and it wasn't about anything important, really.  (Well, ya know, except her being able to SEE).  But it seemed awfully nice to get to "talk" to her.

My friend Courtney at "You Are What You Love" has awarded me this fabulous Liebster award.  I know it's fabulous, because she said so, and she has fabulous taste.  The Liebster is an "award given to up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers who deserve some recognition and support to keep on blogging." Apparently the name is German for dearest. This award comes with rules ... sounds like a chain letter right?  Each person awarded must:

1. post 11 facts about themselves.

2. Answer the 11 questions the nominator has set for them.

3. Choose five bloggers to nominate.

4. Create 11 more questions for the bloggers they will nominate.

5. Let the lucky bloggers know.

 

Here goes:

Eleven Things About Me

1.  My name sounds like Andrea, except with an "ah" sound at the beginning.  It doesn't bother me much any more when people say it incorrectly, but it drives my friends and my family crazy.

2.  I am a travel sleeper.  It doesn't matter what kind of transportation we're talking about, just get us moving and I can fall asleep.

3.  Reading is my favorite sport.  I love to read novels, but there have been a few biographies I've thoroughly enjoyed, especially Audrey Hepburn.

4.  I think political debates are just arguments with "Mom" (the moderator) in the room, and I never can watch more than a few minutes of them.

5.  I think of myself as a confident person, but I often pretend I'm talking to children when I'm talking to adults.  Children aren't as scary.

6.  I have ownership or part ownership in 5 different blogs.

7.  I am a chocoholic.  People always say that, but I really am.  My preferred "poison" is milk chocolate M&M's, which I eat in 3's.  Also, there is a way to eat M&M's.  Just sayin'.

8.  I love meat.

9.  My dream is to travel, travel, travel.  My top travel dream is the UK.

10.  My hands and feet are almost always cold.  I keep hot pink mitten/gloves at work so I can stay warmer.

11.  I snore.  Sorry, Babe!

 

Courtney's Questions

1. if you could tell your 16 year-old self something, what would it be?  Someday Guess Jeans won't seem like such a big deal.

2. what are 3 things that make you most happy right now?  Letters from my missionaries, staying busy at work, this amazing fall weather.

3. what is something you're passionate about?  Life.  I often wish I felt things less keenly.  I guess passion is a gift and a curse.

4. what has been your greatest accomplishment?  Somehow snagging the best man in the world.

5. what do you think people misunderstand most about you?  I think people don't think I have fears, but I often just fake it till I make it.

6. what do you hope to be remembered for?  Loving all kids.

7. what was the last song you listened to?  "We Are Young" by Fun

8. what was the last movie you watched?  Disney's "Up"

9. if you had a life motto what would it be?  Hardship happens.  Misery is optional. -or- If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

10. what are your 3 most visited websites (excluding facebook, email, and work websites)  Blogs, blogs, and blogs!

11. what is your essential start-the-day-off item?  Toothbrush and toothpaste.

 

My Nominees

Lisa at "Life is for Laughing With Lisa"

Amy at "Two Scoops"

Kayla at "A Waiting Girl"

Jessica at "The Hagloch Diaries"

Carol at "Finding the Silver Lining"

 

(Much like a chain letter I don't really expect you to do this.  But it could be fun.)

 

My Questions for You

1.  If you could only have one thing for dinner for an entire month, what would it be?

2.  What is your dream job?

3.  What is your favorite holiday and why?

4.  What is your earliest memory?

5.  What is your favorite book?

6.  How do you change your piece of the world?

7.  If you could travel for one week with three people who are NOT family, who would it be?

8.  Your top three favorite movies.

9.  Share one of your life's dreams.

10.  Tell about the way one person has changed your life.

11.  Oreos:  Regular or double-stuff?

 

 

 

 

It's Not That Important

One of the wonderful senior missionaries at work is making me nuts.  I seriously love the guy--he's a grandpa; a teddy bear!  He's pleasant.  He's cute.  He's helpful.

A couple of days ago my boss mentioned to him that he needed to show him how to put a print job on hold.  Since I was at the printer at the same time Elder M was there, he showed me how to do it, and gave me the mandate to teach my boss.  OK, kids, it's not hard.

It's also not at the top of the priority list when I'm with my boss this week.  Annual budgets are being reviewed by the muckities, so my boss (remember how he's the finance director?) is up to his eyes in prep work for two different departments.

But Elder M has asked me over and over if I've shown my boss how to put a print job on hold.  The only difference between him and a two-year-old is that he isn't saying "Mommy?  Mommy?  Mommy?" or patting my leg.

For. the. love!

Sharing a Memory -- Maryann Clark

In the summer of 2006, after much prayer, it was confirmed to me that the changes in our family had warranted my needing to go to work full time.  Since I had already accepted enrollment for preschool for that year, I decided that I would begin the job hunt in earnest beginning early in 2007.  There were several things I (thought I) knew:

1.  I didn't want to work for the public schools.  I ADORE children, but the politics in education include the regular workplace politics AND state and national politics.

2.  I was most likely to find work that was clerical in nature, based on my experience.

3.  I did NOT want to work for the Church.  This was a personal preference based on the fact that I really hoped to have missionary experiences through my work, and that I did not want to mix the Corporation with the gospel in my own life.

2007 was a pretty good time to find work.  In fact, I heard people say that you could pretty much choose where you wanted to work, because work was so plentiful.  That, however, was not the case for me.  I probably applied at 8 or 10 different places, and I did not even get called in to interview except once (and I BOMBED that interview).

One day I was online, searching through jobs, when a small thought told me to look at the Church's employment site.  I had thought that before, but this time I finally obeyed the prompting.  It was getting close to the end of the school year, and I was getting desperate.  (Note of advice:  Don't get desperate before you obey a prompting.)

I ended up applying for three different jobs at the Church that day, including one for the Physical Facilities Department.  I did NOT want that job.

You guessed it:  just a few days later I was called for an interview.  Having bombed the only other interview I had gotten in all of my job hunting, I made this one a matter of serious prayer.  I went in for a 15 - 30 minute interview and left three hours later, having met with three different levels of managers and feeling confident that this was my job if I wanted it.

The big question was DID I WANT IT?  It was working for the Church, for heaven's sake!  And not just for the Church--for the Physical Facilities Department!  That was SO temporal!  It was SO Corporation!  It was SO not what I wanted!

The next night was ward choir practice.  I had not said much about this job to anyone but Spencer, but it was weighing heavily on my mind.  That night I sat next to Maryann Clark.  Maryann worked for the Church, in Physical Facilities.  We had spoken a number of times about some of the frustrations of her work (which mirrored some of the experiences my family members had).  I confided in her about this interview.  I told her what the work was.  I expressed my concerns about working for this Corporation.  I told her it would be disappointing NOT to have missionary experiences through my work.  I also told her about the sweet experiences I'd had while interviewing, about our need for me to have work and my fear of not being home all day for our children, and that I was sure the job was going to be offered to me.

Maryann was serious and sweet and sincere and kind.  She told me that yes, there were challenges with working for the Church.  Sometimes they are same challenges you face in other companies, and sometimes they are very unique because it is the Church.  She told me of the wonderful people she worked with and the friendships she'd made.  She reminded me that the Church was a VERY family-friendly workplace.  And then she said, "Aundrea, if that is where you need to work, only you will know.  It has its challenges, but it is also fulfilling and wonderful in many, many ways.  I know you will be taken care of, no matter what your decision is."  We both shed tears, and she gave me a  hug.  And I knew that when that job was offered to me, I would take it.

Just a few days later I received the phone call offering me that job, which was my loved job on 2LL.  After that Maryann and I often talked work, and usually it was to express frustration about something that you really only understand when you are colleagues.

Maryann was involved in many organization changes that came down from Headquarters, and when it was all said and done, she was doing the job of two people or more.  It was a difficult time for her professionally, but she hung on because it was work and because she LOVED the man she worked for.  She told me on multiple occasions that she knew that her boss was a friend from the pre-existence and that she would continue to take care of him as long as he needed her, just as she knew he would do all in his power to take care of her.

Yesterday was Maryann's funeral.  She was about 6 months younger than my mom, which is definitely NOT old enough to have fought and lost to cancer.  Our loss of her physical presence, however, is the ONLY win that cancer can claim, because her spirit was strong, and her circle of influence was enormous!  I will love her forever for her high spirits, her optimism, her happy disposition, her love of Harrison Ford, the sweet turn of her countenance when she talked about her sweetheart Greg, her adoration of her children and grandchildren, the way she took Taylor and Ashtyn under her wing and made them feel like they were her favorites in Primary, the overachiever in her that made her lessons memorable, and the fact that her sweet and calm reassurance influenced my decision to spend the last 5 1/2 years in a place and with people I love.

One other thing:  the closing speaker at the funeral was Maryann's boss and dear, cherished friend, who said that the only funeral harder for him than this one was his own wife's; who is retired from employment but is wearing a black and white nametag identifying him as a representative of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; who knew she was the person he should hire before they'd gone past their initial greeting; and who confirmed a friendship--forged (at least in this life) at the Corporation of the Presiding Bishop--which will last through eternity.

Thank heaven for the influence of wonderful friends!

A Sick Week

Friday I left work with a little niggling notion that that tiny cough might turn into something ugly.

Saturday that cough wasn't quite so tiny.

Sunday I curled up on the couch in complete self-pity because I was too sick to go to the Brigham City temple dedication.

Monday I emailed my boss--between hot and cold flashes.

Tuesday I nearly coughed myself inside out.

Wednesday I went to work.  For four hours.  Then I had my only coherent thought of the day:  What the hell am I doing here?

Thursday I went to the doctor, who agreed that a week might necessitate the need for an antibiotic.

Today is Friday.  I've lost a full week of my life.  That makes me mad.

I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm still coughing like crazy.

There's no point.  I'm just telling you.

Who Invented This Stupid Article of Clothing?

The title of today's post is the sentence I say every night as I remove my bra.  I know, TMI.  But it explains an email I received from Spencer this morning.  The email had no subject and included just this link.

He makes me laugh.

And also, now we know.

Sports Fans -- NOT!

Last week I was downstairs visiting with my brother and his wife.  The TV was on a football game (it is ALWAYS on a sports channel at their house), and there was a huge pass.  I just glanced up and said, "Nice reception."  Laurie's jaw dropped, and she said, "Wow.  You said 'reception.'  I'm impressed."

Here's the thing.  I grew up with sports fans.  Daddy loved to watch the games when I was a little girl, and my brothers were huge fans.  My favorite game is baseball, especially if I can be in the park.  I know enough about most of the major sports (football, soccer, hockey, basketball, baseball, volleyball) to get me by in a sports conversation, in the park, or in the arena.  We like to watch the Olympics.  We have a little family party and watch the Superbowl each year--mostly for the commercials, if we're being honest. 

But while we watch the Superbowl, I explain things to our kids.  When we went to the ballpark for the 4th of July, I had to explain the game to the kids; that might be the blind leading the blind a little bit.  But I'm the resident sports expert at our house.

Once in high school my friend told me that her sister had gotten so fed up with competing with the games that she put on a teddy and went and danced in front of the television, just to get ANY attention from her husband on a Saturday.

When we had been married a VERY short time, I came home from work and flipped on the TV.  The Dodgers were playing, so I was watching the game.  Spencer came home, said hello, dropped his stuff off in our room, sat down next to me, and changed the channel!  My first reaction was to think, "Hey!  I was watching that!"

But then I remembered my friend's sister, who had to compete with sports for her husband's attention, and I thought, "Well, at least I know I will never have to do that."

We found a program on PBS that we both enjoyed that afternoon.  Yes, we are PBS watchers...

With that background, may I just say

I HATE THE BYU/U OF U RIVALRY GAME!!!

Hate. It.

Hate it in the cubicle.  Hate it in Devotional.  Hate it at choir practice.  Hate it from the pulpit.  Hate it in our Sunday lessons.  Hate it on your necktie.  Hate it at the copy machine.  Hate it at the drinking fountain.  Hate it in the cafeteria.  Hate it at the bank.

Hate.

I don't know and I don't care about all the ramifications of the schools being in different divisions or conferences or whatever.  I'm just SO glad they won't be playing each other for a couple of years.  So glad.

Intensive Care

Does today's title scare you the way it does me?  Imagine my horror last night when our 15-year-old said that my brother was in intensive care.  He didn't know anything further.

So I ran downstairs to see what in the world was going on, and there sat my brother.  I said, "Are you OK?"  He said, "Yes, but I need to take myself to the insta-care for my elbow."

Intensive care/Insta-care.

Sheesh!