Friday, May 10, 2013

Ready, Set, Go

A few weeks ago I came unglued at work.  I know, you're shocked.  When it originally happened, my boss was traveling.  My dear girlfriends came to my therapeutic aid and started helping me find some things to do to help with what was bothering me.  A few days later my boss came back and I ranted to him.  This time I'm pretty sure I pushed his last button.  He left on another trip the next day and I didn't hear from him at all for two entire days.  When I did hear from him, it was several emails sent to our entire division (addressing some of my concerns); and there no one-to-one contact for the duration of his trip.

Several things have come from this meltdown:

1.  I have decided that I cannot stay at my employment for the long term.  Yes, I have been frustrated before, but this one sent me home in absolute, complete, utter frustration ("frustration" is not a strong enough term).  While I'm dealing with the vexation, it is also clear in my head that I have to get out of there.  Therefore, when I graduate, I am going to take my MBA for a spin and see where it can take me.  Maybe it will take me to another clerical desk, and that's OK--as long as it is not for the corporation for which I currently work.  And maybe--just maybe--I'll find something that is a wonderful fit for me!

2.  I am busy at work.  Every. Day.  This makes me wonder why it took 2.5 years and a come-apart to figure out how to make this happen.

3.  My boss and I have a different relationship now.  We are still good friends.  I still love him very much (in appropriate ways).  But I know that I have pushed him as far as he's ever going to go with me, and he knows that I have bent as far as I'm going to bend.  Without going into details, this sounds like he's the bad guy.  He's not.  He's a very, very good guy, and the Corporation would be better if they could clone him.  But he's done all he can do, and I accept that.  It also sounds like we are no longer friends, which is far from the truth.  We are both mature enough to continue a friendship even when there are weaknesses to be faced. I'm very grateful for that, and I hope we will be friends for a very, very long time.