Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Posted by wjmom at 8:47 AM
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
He Is the Gift
Merry Christmas to anyone out there who might see this.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Over the past 3 months I've had many and increasing problems with one of the administrative assistants who works for me. It's hard to be the bearer of bad tidings to someone, because I empathize with her. However, if I expect her to truly be successful, I need to draw a line in the sand to indicate what is appropriate and what is not.
In my meetings with this person, it has been demonstrated numerous times that she sees herself as a victim in everything; she never takes any responsibility for her own behaviors or the consequences of her behavior. If I can continue to find the right ways to communicate with her, I believe I can help her keep her job. But because of her attitude, I doubt she will EVER excel in her job, because she is not humble enough to learn.
Case in point: Our purchasing agent went to this woman and pointed out to her that she had made a specific mistake in numerous purchase requisitions. She denied having made that mistake, although he held evidence in his hand. She just would not believe that she had done anything wrong, and in the end she projected the problem back to him, wondering aloud what his job was if she was going to have to do everything. Our purchaser is wonderful, and he is more than willing to help and to train. This same mistake had been made by at least three other admins, all of whom owned and fixed the error the first time he talked to them. The first admin was unable to own (and therefore, fix) her mistake until the purchaser approached me with it.
Today I had my year-end meeting with this admin, wherein we discussed her goals and her performance in those goals. Not only did she not want to "own" her goals (about which we've talked multiple times this year), but she said that the problems about which I was "so concerned" (her words) were caused by others. In fact--she said--she has been targeted by so many people throughout her life that it was "impossible" for her to smile because life is just.so.difficult.
Ironically I met with another admin immediately after this meeting. Admin #2 has had some very difficult challenges throughout her life, and especially in the past 3 years. However, if you asked anyone to describe her, the words used would be "bubbly," "energetic," "helpful," "happy."
And here's the difference. Admin #1 sees LIFE through a dark perception. She anticipates being victimized and she won't own any of her own problems. Therefore, to her, life is hard and dark. Admin #2 sees LIFE through a happy perception. She understands that it's OK to cry when things hurt or are hard, but she also understands that it's up to her to find ways to overcome and get back to being happy. In fact, she is unwilling to be anything but happy. I've seen her really struggle with things, but she does so with optimism and faith.
I hope I'm more like Admin #2.
Friday, November 21, 2014
My mother got up and got herself ready for the day every morning. She always put on clean clothes, did her hair, and did her makeup. She encouraged me to do the same, even if I knew the day was going to be filled with dirt, sweat, or tears.
On the flip side, I have often felt that my beauty came from the inside out, so I'm quite comfortable in my own, un-made-up skin. I have no problem going to the store without makeup.
Still, I've tried to get ready for every day, including most school days from the time I started wearing makeup, and DEFINITELY for every work day.
Today I came to work without makeup for the second time in my life. Funny thing is someone told me I looked really pretty. Ha. That's a laugh. It's kind of them to say, but even I cringe when I look in the mirror. :)
My mother would be appalled. I was just glad to get here this morning.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Years ago, when our children were very little, I was quite concerned about what would happen to them if we died. We ended up purchasing burial plots at that time, but we haven't done anything further. With Spencer being SO involved with his dad now this his mom died, he's now the one who is concerned about taking care of our funeral and mortuary arrangements.
As pertaining to the care of my body--I DO NOT WANT TO BE EMBALMED. Seriously, the thought of their filling me with formaldehyde or any other chemical grosses me out. I know I'll be dead and I won't really care, but can't we just put me in the ground and call it good? For me, this is not about being green or saving money. It's just gross, because bodies are just shells of human beings, so why do we have to dress them up and make them up? In the end, they just look dead--BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE.
This is not to say that bodies are gross or scary. Neither of those applies. It's just that I receive no comfort from a body. The best time to speak with the family of the deceased is at the viewing, but I really don't want to view, ya know?
Anyway, several years ago I heard about green burials (you can read more here, if you care), and I really like the idea. At the time I first heard of them, no cemeteries in Utah were involved. But not too long ago I looked again, and there is one cemetery (it's in Bountiful) that is doing green burials. They had a booth at the State Fair, so we made an appointment to go visit with their salesman, which we did this past Saturday.
Of course, there are many options available for both regular and green burials, including the possibility of cremation. We are in the process of deciding how we think it should all go for us and finding the funding to take care of that so that our children don't have to worry about it.
Here are some other things (just for me):
- "Joy to the World" by Voice Male (or our sons, if they choose to learn the harmonies) should be played to begin the service. Because I LOVE that hymn, and musically I love that version, that's why. The lyrics and the music are all about the Savior and the amazing JOY that was brought to the world by Him! And if you can't smile during Voice Male's version, you're missing out on one of the great joys of life. Seriously. You should go listen to it right now.
- I'd like my brother, Derek, to speak. He's known me since childhood, but he'll also teach the gospel. Because if it's not about the gospel, it's not really about my life.
- Make sure the gospel of Jesus Christ is taught. If you can use my life as an example of something, please do. But it should be ALL about the hope and joy the gospel brings, not only for a glorious future, but for the meaning it gives us DAILY.
- Joanne Soderborg at the organ, please. She's amazing, and I love her, and she loves me back.
- Make sure Spencer is involved with as much as he can be, but protect his heart carefully. He's as fine a man as I've ever known, and he's taken care of me in every possible way. Also, encourage him to find someone to love for the rest of his life. The world is a better place because of people like Spencer who have such a capacity to love.
- If our kids want to speak or participate, they can; if they don't want to, please don't make them. But make sure everyone knows my family is my joy. And kids, if you do speak or sing, make sure to reference #3.
- If the bishop can't keep it short and say "amen," hold the funeral at the mortuary. It's worth the money to not have it go too long or to have him make a sermon just to hear his own voice. If it's still Bishop Soderborg, we should be OK. (But no stake presidency! Because sheesh!)
- If you want a musical number, my favorites are Aunt Gloria and Kaylani on the piano and organ doing "How Great Thou Art," the Heritage 3rd ward Primary and friends singing "Gethsemane," or Sterling Singers doing "In Remembrance." I'm also fine with congregational singing of hymns. But not "O My Father," "Because I Have Been Given Much," or "I Believe In Christ," OK? I love their messages, but I don't love these hymns. If our choir kids (Brit, Jordan, Lisa, Anna, Chris, Colton, Tanar, Craig, Logan, Landon, Raylee, etc.) want to sing, I'd love them forever. Oh, wait. I'll already love them forever! Just sing about the Savior, my loves.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Posted by wjmom at 12:36 PM
Yesterday we began to talk about Hilladay. This year--and from now on--we are going to celebrate our Hilladay at Snowbird, where we have a time share. We hope that eventually perhaps our children will be able to also purchase a time share during that same week, but that will be up to them.
Anyway, in discussing Hilladay we talked about how we wished we'd kept track of every Hilladay we'd had. The truth is that there are probably picture around, but until they all get organized, we'll never know.
So we started making a list, and this is what we've come up with:
1995: Back yard games and jumping on Aunt Becky's trampoline at Grandma and Grandpa Bezzant's house.
1996: Back yard sleepout. This was the year (I think) that we were putting in sprinklers, so there was mud in the yard.
1999: Liberty Park and scavenger hunt.
2000: Raging Waters
2007: Goblin Valley and slot canyon hike and camping.
2008: Thanksgiving Point for photos, picnic, and "Oklahoma!"
2009: Jackson Hole camping, horseback riding, Snake River rafting, and Bar J Wranglers
2010: Sacramento and Apple Hill
2011: The year of service
2012: Weber River rafting. Briana was on her mission, and we held Hilladay early, before Taylor left.
2013: Snowbird begins
It was hard to differentiate between some of the things we've done for Hilladay versus just playing together as a family. But we determined that the following were other Hilladay activities. Probably.
Saver's scavenger hunt (ended at Sugarhouse Park)
Old Sac/Six Flags
Back yard Slip & Slide and games
Back yard sleepout with Mormon Mouthful (West Jordan)
This Is the Place Heritage Park
This year will be our 20th Hilladay. We started the year Ashtyn was one (the year I was diagnosed with MS), so our children don't remember a time when we didn't have Hilladay. Hilladay is my favorite family tradition, and we've been very blessed.
Now to come up with this year's activities...
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Spencer called me this morning to do a math problem for him. I love when he does that, because it makes me feel like I might actually have something useful to contribute--because he's just so freaking awesome.
Anyway, he asked how my day was going, and I told him I think I'm allergic to my job. His response? "YA THINK?"