Do I Go Straight To Excited?

So, I FINALLY finished that MBA in November.  That meant that it was time to start looking for work, and I was DETERMINED to leave the company I presently work for.

Then one day my dear friend--a former supervisor in my present corporation--called me to come to her office.  She told me she was retiring and that I should apply for her job.  The whole time she's talking I'm thinking about how much I love the people there and how 4 years ago her job would have been my dream job; and also about how in the past 3 years I've gotten SO fed up with the glass ceiling at my work.  She was probably really confused about how non-committal I was.

BUT I left her office and walked straight to the office of the director of the division (who I know), where we had a nice conversation that actually included the possibility of growth opportunities (Twilight Zone!).  So when the job was posted, I applied.

I interviewed for the position just before Christmas, and they hoped to make a decision immediately.  I felt good about the interview, but I saw the resume of one other person, and she was and is fabulous.  Over the subsequent weekend, I knew that that job was not mine.  I was disappointed, but I was grateful that I got to deal with the disappointment privately.

The hiring manager kept in contact with me every few days, letting me know that the decision still had not been made.  After a couple of weeks, he came up to visit with me shortly in the cafeteria; and as he walked away, I had the feeling that I WAS going to get the job.  It was strange because I really wasn't being just pessimistic before.  I had known that the job wasn't mine.

In the meantime, I had applied for another job--with another corporation--and it was for the job I have DREAMED of having for over a decade.  I received a call asking me to come for an interview.  But now I was SURE I was going to be offered the job at my company and that they were on a pretty strict timeline because my friend is retiring.  So for a couple of days I stewed and prayed and thought and talked to family.  And I came to the very calm conclusion that if they offered me the position, I would accept it.

This past Thursday I received an appointment request to meet with my friend and the hiring manager.  His words were, "The bad news is that we are not offering you the job you applied for.  The good news is that we have another job we ARE offering you."  It turns out that upper management decided--after the interviews--that they wanted to restructure the job rather than having it as it has been for the past years.  They did that during the weekend when I KNEW that I was not getting the job.  The restructure came together and was approved this past Monday, the same day that I KNEW I was getting the job.  What they decided to do was take two jobs, throw them together, and assign the duties from those two jobs to two different people.  So that woman who I was sure would be great?  She is getting one portion of the job.  She gets the more technical side of things:  running reports, keeping databases current, and overseeing technical support for the employees of that division.  I will be doing the more supervisory/managerial stuff and some technical writing.

Hiring two different people, however, meant that there needed to be approval to hire them both at the higher level they had advertised; and THAT requires managing director approval.  Enter our managing director, who used to be the director of the division for which I was applying to work.  He's a brat.  He's a bully.  He's a diva.  He and I have a courteous relationship, but he knows that I don't love him.  But in less than two hours the hiring manager went from an email to me that said, "We've hit a snag," to sending me the meeting appointment to offer me a job.  Our managing director had not even hesitated to sign the approval when he learned it was me they were talking about.

I accepted the position offered to me.  I'm very happy about the opportunities to do new things and learn new things.  I thanked my managing director for his goodness to me in this particular case (that was actually a really nice conversation).  I went down to my new office and did several hours of training on Friday.  I announced my new job to the people in my current division.  I cancelled my interview with the other company.

And with all of this, I wouldn't say I am excited.  I'm happy, yes.  I'm anticipating.  But mostly I'm calm, and that is a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

Yesterday Briana and I went to the temple.  After we had performed our service there, I walked over to the prayer roll to enter some names.  As I stood there I had clear recollections of two different friends who--during the course of the past couple of weeks--had put my name on the prayer roll when they've attended the temple.  And now I know that I am calm because of the tender mercies of the Lord.  He has been giving me gentle care all along, and I am incredibly thankful for His watchcare and for the beautiful blessing of wonderful friends.

I Go For Days with Nothing to Say...

...but today is not that day.

I am currently on a term break with school.  Earning my MBA has taken much longer than I would have guessed at the beginning.  Part of it is that I have to take term breaks in order to get the money together for the next term.  But really, let's be honest.  It is really hard to go to school.  I have learned that I would probably do better with a teacher and a class instead of online.  I have learned that I really, really like to be home and I am easily distracted by my sweet family (who I just adore).  I have learned that it would be OK with me if I was a full-time mom and grandma forever.  I already knew that one, sort of--but sometimes we have to travel to the greener grass on the other side of the fence in order to REALLY KNOW (stupid, right?).

I have also learned that my dream job is not in business.  I chose an MBA (instead of another master's emphasis) because I thought it would give me a good look at many different careers:  HR, marketing, finance, etc.  I was right about that.  But I've also found that I don't LOVE any of those things.  I can do them, but I don't love them.

Working toward an MBA has opened other learning opportunities for me, particularly in my work.  When people learn that I am a student, they treat me with more respect than a "lowly secretary."  That bugs me (everyone should receive respect and acceptance), but it definitely opens doors for me.  Also, my boss (who is the kind of person who is open and willing to allow me to participate and learn) has been even more open to my input because of my familiarity with parlance, theories, etc.

 Last month we had a training meeting in our division that involved studying brain dominance theory.  That test showed me something I already knew--I am an empathetic person and I excel with people.

In a way, this makes me laugh, because frankly, people kinda make me crazy.  When they do stupid things I just want to SCREAM in frustration.  I really hate working retail, because people are so rude!  Customer service jobs BITE because I hate that people think they are ENTITLED to something.

The flip side of that is that I care and get bugged about these things because I AM a people person.  I believe--to my core--that ALL people should be treated fairly, kindly, and respectfully.  That includes the customer's treatment of the service providerAND vice versa.  No one is ENTITLED to preferential treatment just because he or she holds a certain degree or is holding the cash or has a certain title.

Also, I love children, and they love me.  I always wanted to teach school, from the time I was a child myself.  But once I reached adulthood, I did not (and I still do not) want to play the political games that are involved for school teachers.  Their livelihood is very much influenced by the national, state, and local political "scene" as well as the politics that are in any workplace.  I LOVED having my preschool because I got to teach, organize, plan, and love kids, but I didn't have to fight any politics.  If a parent didn't want their child to be with me, they could leave.  And guess what?  That was OK with me, because I truly wanted what was best for each child and for their parents (that people-person thing again).

I've have many people ask why I didn't/don't do daycare.  It's because I love kids, but I also love structure.  Also--as long as we're being honest--there are certain things about motherhood that I don't miss, diapers being at the forefront.  School with 4-year-olds is one thing.  All day with babies and toddlers is another.

One of the things I really loved about preschool was that, at the end of the day, I felt really fulfilled about what I had done that day.  I had many things to laugh about.  I had many things to learn.  And I saw the lights turn on in the eyes of many children.  Additionally, I gave them a safe harbor for several hours each week.  I couldn't fix all of their families' problems, but I could give them a safe, happy, educational, loving atmosphere while they were with me.  Many of them already had that at home.  Far too many did not.

In the past week I've had three different people confide things to me.  ALWAYS they just need someone who they trust will keep their issues private, who will listen to them, who will help them carry the burden that they can't carry alone, and who will love them in spite of their challenges and their weaknesses.  I feel these things very deeply, and there are times when I am moved to tears because of my pain for others' challenges.  These people (and their families) go on my prayer list.  But I learned while I was teaching Good Touch/Bad Touch that at some point I have to let it go.  It's OK to cry.  It's OK to give empathy and sympathy.  But in order to not be paralyzed by the sadness, I have to let it go.  I think I could do something like that professionally, and I think it would be fulfilling to help enable people to find the strength to deal with hard things.

So the careers I'm considering are as follows.  The first one would be my #1 choice, but the rest are in no particular order, simply because I DON'T KNOW!

• Quitting employment altogether and staying home to take my high schooler to lunch, take care packages to my kids in college, plan play dates with my grandchildren, and volunteer somewhere wonderful.  Unfortunately, we need my income, so this is not the most viable option.
• Teaching college, especially if I were somewhere like a business college (because of my career experience).  What I don't know is a) if I'm qualified; b) if I would love college students the way I love younger children; c) how colleges are influenced by politics. 
• Getting a degree in social work or counseling, and specializing in working with children.  What I don't know is a) if anyone would want to hire a 50-something woman with no experience; b) if the financial and time trade-offs would be worth it this late in my life; c) if I would actually enjoy it once I got there. 
• Staying right where I am, helping these people who I've come to love, and volunteering somewhere wonderful.  Here I don't feel the fulfillment that I might in another career; but if I volunteer somewhere, I can find that, I think.  Here I'm comfortable.  Here I don't have to leave my family or spend lots of money and time to go to school.  Here I don't work with children (chronologically), but it's really not that different in how they need to be treated (I just can't give hugs).  Here I get really good benefits, my job is very stable, and I am earning retirement benefits. 

 

My Husband, the Celebrity

Just over three years ago, my husband got his bachelor's degree, in spite of me.  This enabled him to get a management position at his work.  He is a good manager.

Nearly two years ago, my husband became a licensed massage therapist.  He has been working nights and weekends doing massage because he loves it.  He is also very good at it.  Even some of his instructors come to him.

Two weeks ago, my husband started his MBA.  He's cool like that. He'll probably be finished before I am.  *sigh*

This week my husband made his television debut in a commercial for Eagle Gate College, who called and asked him if he would represent the school. 

I am married to the best, handsomest, coolest man in the world.

I can get you an autograph, maybe.

Panic Mode

My least favorite thing about the class I've been enrolled in since September is that I feel like every other week I am in panic mode.  Each task has been difficult, and now I'm on the last task, the culmination of all the other tasks.  It's huge.  It's daunting.  I went into freeze frame for the last two days.  But today I decided to roll up my sleeves and just try to start.

It feels like I did a lot.  It feels like I barely scratched the surface.  It feels like I'm completely alone in this.  Ugh! 

Technically, I have till February 25 to finish this class.  But the next class has team exercises (Guess what?  I don't like team exercises.  Clearly, I am not a team player.), and it starts a week from Monday.  Oh, how I would love to be finished with Financial Analysis before Leadership starts.

Panic!

Hallelujah!

I finished my stupid, hateful, poorly-organized, momentum-killing eBusiness class.  I got the stupid, hateful, 26-page task turned in this morning.

I expect there will be a re-write.  Hopefully it won't be 26 stupid, hateful, momentum-killing pages of re-write.

P.S.  I HATE marketing.  Now I know at least one thing I DON'T wanna be when I grow up.

It's Like Christmas!

I received a large box fromWGU several weeks ago.  It has been sitting on my cedar chest, unopened.  Here's why:  the smaller box they sent me was a webcam so I could legally take my tests.  Only, guess what?  Graduate programs only do papers.  No test-taking.  So I keep waiting for someone to contact me and say, "Uh, Aundrea?  About that webcam.  Send it back."

So, why open another box of disappointment, right?

(And also, it was Christmas and I had many, many more things to do that anything school related.)

So last night I finished writing a seriously fabulous paper.  I nailed it (but it took a long time, of course)!  And when I finished I decided to clean up my "study" (read: corner of the bedroom), so I finally opened that box.  What I found was a binder, some time-planning sheets, a pen, a party mug, a do-not-disturb door hanger, some magnets, some cool post-it notes (!), a t-shirt, a stress ball, and a picture frame. 

Dang!  I should have had that box under the tree!

The picture frame is "leatherette."  Can anyone tell me what that means?   Taylor says it is girl leather--duh, Ashley!  The frame is also stamped with the words "What keeps me going."  I think I'm gonna take a picture of the copy machine and the binders.

And BTW, I got my scored paper back today, and it was marked with many words such as "excellent," "good job," "nice discussion," etc.  Thank you very much.

Life Goes On

I broke a molar on Saturday. This happened while I was eating popcorn and watching "Homeward Bound." No, I wasn't gnawing on kernals, but one must have slipped in, because the next thing I knew, a large chunk of my tooth was missing. This morning I had the joy of visiting the dentist (who I actually really like on a personal level). He shot and drilled and molded and finally fitted me with a temporary crown for that tooth.

Spencer is on his 3rd to last class before he has his bachelor's degree. He's getting really trunky (his word). Bri says he just has Senioritis. He talked about continuing on for a master's, but changes in rules at Boeing (who has paid for school)--along with Senioritis--have left him saying no for now.

Last night Spencer spent a couple of hours fighting with our computer, which, apparently, received a bug of some kind. He wasn't feeling peachy when we went to bed. And he was the one who was cold and snuggled up to me to get warm. Weird.

Landon and Ashtyn are involved with a play at their school. It's called "Cinderella's Glass Slipper." Landon is part of the chorus, and Ashtyn is the fairy godmother's apprentice. I took them to play practice and just giggled at all of the girls dressed up their gowns (there were seriously some lovely dresses in the gym!) and all of the boys in white tights, knickers, and lacy dickies. They looked awesome. We'll be sure and take pictures when they perform.

The girls and I went to Orem last night to see my grandparents. Grandma's having an angiogram today. My uncle is having some colon tests done today. I've tried to call the rheumatologist and the neurologist today for Ashtyn, who is still mysteriously ill every couple of weeks.

Life is busy. There are worries. But life goes on, and we are so grateful!

Science Fair Winner!

Look! Our daughter (who is incredible and wonderful and beautiful and talented and--for this week--WELL!) won the school science fair! Isn't that great?! We think so, too.

Hooray for Ashtyn!

Parent Teacher Conferences

The only good thing I can say about parent-teacher conferences is that they are over for the year (at the high school). Oh, wait. One more thing. At least at the high school we get to conference with the teacher.

At the K-9 school we get to enjoy a complete waste of time called "Student-Led Conferences." Our kids do a great job telling us what they've been learning about, but couldn't we learn that by checking their backpacks each day? When do the teachers get to tell me about their concerns? When do I get to address my concerns with the teacher?

(Sigh.)