Bitter. Sweet.

First thing this morning I had a conversation with a co-worker (keep in mind that I have worked with him for 2 1/2 years) about the time that we spent living in Peoa, Utah. His eyebrows went up, and he said, "My wife grew up in Peoa. I think she may be older than you." When he told me her name I screamed with joy. This woman was 2 years older than I, and she was WONDERFUL. We sang together in Tapestry. We marched together in drill team. We did stuff together in YW. And when she was a senior and I was a sophomore we became good friends. That was when I moved to California, and I haven't seen her since. That was 25 years ago.

Today I learned that she and her husband, who adores her, have 6 children and live in Riverton. Their home is paid off, and they bought a small home in Randolph, which they hope to move to someday. She has a huge garden, a wonderful family of 3 boys and 3 girls, and a husband who thinks she is as wonderful as they come.

I adore Pam, and I'm so, so grateful to learn that she has had a happy life (her husband mentioned that her younger sister--my age in school--has had it more difficult). It brought tears of joy to my eyes as he showed me pictures of her and their beautiful family through the years. Their oldest is an RM; they have a daughter in college. The other two girls are teenagers. The boys are 8 (almost) and 4. They are beautiful, and I swear, Pam has not changed a bit. I smiled for so long my cheeks ached! Life is wonderful, and I hope that I will hear from her in the near future.

SWEET!

At the end of the day my friend Karleen yelled "Noooo!" from her office. She came out to my desk, her head hanging down and said, "I just got an email from Amy. She's gotten another opportunity, and she is not coming back." While I was sort of prepared for this (because what new mommy doesn't look for something that will allow her to be home with her family?), my heart is breaking. Except this is my sister-friend who I love deeply, so I am so happy for her to have this wonderful opportunity. Except I feel completely abandoned. Except it's better that I'm abandoned than her son, right? Yeah, right. Except my heart hurts.

I called Spencer to have my little cry at work. He said (rightly, I might add), "Well, Babe, you have gotten a friend for life out of this." I know. But it still makes me sad. Does that make me a bad person?

Rotten. All the way around.

Then I came home and got dinner started when Bri called from school. They needed their holsters for their class finals. And then Spencer said his teacher was wondering if, when I came, I could stay and have a massage (cuz they have an odd number in their classes). Oh, twist my arm!

So I got a wonderful Swedish massage for 50 minutes. From Rianna. For free. Gotta love it.

Sweet!

Take a deep breath. Tomorrow is coming.