Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sharing a Memory -- Grandma B

Spencer's grandmother lived with us for about 6 months when she was in her 90's.  She was not a sweet, kind, Mrs. Claus kind of grandma, but I loved her very, very much, and I learned many things from her as she lived in our home.

One day, 6 or 8 months after she'd left our home, I called her and asked if I could take her to lunch.  I picked her up, and as we drove I asked how she was doing.  She was rather melancholy that day, and she said, "You know, I'm lonely. 

"My parents have been gone for years.  I only have one sibling living, and he's my baby brother, living in another state.  And every last one of my friends has died." 

She then proceeded to tell me that Addie, who was her best friend through school in small-town Idaho, had died a few months ago.  She and Addie had remained friends all through the years and had tried to get together once every year or two.  They shared letters, mostly, because neither of them could hear very well on the telephone.

There are two things I learned from this.  One thing I thought was that her "homecoming" when she died was probably very sweet. Grandma adored her mother, and I'm sure she was glad to see many of the people she knew and loved when she was a younger woman.

The other has to do with family and friends.  It has to do with love.  Grandma was never happy in her marriage, and she didn't even mention missing her husband.  Because Grandma and Grandpa were so miserable, life for their two children was also fairly miserable.  Grandma was survived by both of her children, but they were not a lot of comfort to her in her advanced age.  Grandma also never went out of her way to cultivate friendships, so she was very alone.  That's very sad.